


As You Were

by TheIskraeon



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: (in a mild sense), Abusive Father, Angst, Anxiety, Dissociation, Emotional Turmoil, Existentialism, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I kinda mixed what I know of Sense8 (which is very little) with Kimi no na wa and Kingdom Hearts, Non-binary Xion, bodyswap au, but just...okay just be prepared, drug references, have fun with this one guys, i don't know if you'll cry, it's got, let's see, oh boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIskraeon/pseuds/TheIskraeon
Summary: Sora, Roxas, Xion, Ventus and Vanitas all live bland, boring lives at different points on the planet...until those points intersect and suddenly these five are bound for life.Let's just hope they can play nice.





	1. From Within

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first KH fic and I'm going crazy with it. This idea came to me a couple days ago and already I cannot stop thinking about it, so uh, here you go I guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first KH fic and I'm just going crazy with it!! Hope you like!

**We expand outwards**

**Bleeding from our pores into each other’s wounds**

**We appear from within**

**The words we needed when we were little**

**And the words we need**

**As we are**

**Now**

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Roxas wakes up with a start, his body jolting as he sits up, his nerves are filled with a cold fire and he's damp, sweat rolling off of his skin in little beads. He feels like he's in shock which doesn't make sense since it was just a...dream? What was his dream even about?

He can't remember. Maybe that's a good thing given how freaked out he is.

He kicks his legs free from their sticky, uncomfortable prison amongst his sheets and he stands up. He's a little shaky and that concerns him just a bit; he hasn't been this freaked out over a dream since he was little.

Roxas walks over to his floor-length mirror on his cupboard door and frowns when he looks over his pitiful figure. Bags under his eyes and the sweat make him look like he just lived through a traumatic incident. Lovely. He'll call this look Deranged And Grungy Youth Doesn't Know What The Fuck Just Happened.

He pulls on some clothes, he's not sure what ones in particular, he just wants something comfy after the mess that was his sleep. Slack jeans and a loose t-shirt are arranged. He nods to himself in the mirror and starts a little as he hears Lea knock on his door.

"You up Roxy?"

"Uh, yeah." He feels flighty and anxious. Weird.

"Okay, well breakfast is almost done if you're planning on joining us."

"Mm'k." He mumbled in response, trying to breathe his nerves out of him, hoping they would become inexistent. Lea walks away from his door with light footsteps and Roxas sighs in relief. He spots his bomber jacket and bag across the room, moving over to them on auto-pilot and stubbing his toe on the end of his bed. He stumbles, cursing angrily as he navigates his dingy room, grabbing his desk chair for support.

 _Frick_ , that hurt.

He takes a moment to push the pain down and compose himself, it takes longer than he'd like, before looking up and seeing his books all askew across his desk. It makes his eyebrow twitch in annoyance seeing the messy papers sticking out of his books, the perpetrators being an assortment of random flyers for bars and cafes that he has absolutely zero interest in visiting. He opens his books up and tips the flyers into his bin, his eyes latching onto a foreign scrawl on the inside of his notebook.

_Who are you?_

Who am I? Roxas frowns. What the fuck was he doing yesterday? Had someone slipped something into his drink the other night? No, no way. He'd kept a close eye on his drinks all night. Maybe Lea was messing with him...no, Lea didn't do shit like this. Yeah there was the occasional loud firecracker but nothing this subtle. Roxas slammed his book shut and checked the time on his iPod; eight fifteen. Cool. He still had enough time to get to the train station.

Slipping on his bomber jacket and shoving his books into his crumpled backpack, he exits his room. It's quiet save for the muffled voices and laughter from downstairs where he can faintly hear a frypan sizzle. Lea must be making pancakes. Awesome. His stomach gurgled in immediate response to the image of food that sat at the front of his mind...God, had he eaten at all last night? He turns and makes his way downstairs to where Edym and Lea chat idly at the island bench.

"Mornin'." Roxas slurs, frowning as he notices Edym turn to him with a wary gaze.

"Morning Roxy, you uh...you _are_ Roxy yeah?"

"Yeah...?" Roxas drags out, snatching an apple from the fruit basket.

"Um...cool."

It's awkward and silent for a long moment. A long moment that has Roxas hating every single tense second that passes until Lea sighs and aims his spatula at him like a weapon. There's one hand on his hip and Roxas feels like he's about to get a scolding from his mum.

"Are we gonna talk about your breakdown yesterday or not?"

"Wait...what breakdown?"

"Oh shit he doesn't remember." Edym muttered in awe, eyes wide like saucers.

"He doesn't remember." Lea echoed in a horrified whisper.

"What don't I remember?" Roxas snapped.

"Well, where do we begin?" Lea sighed dramatically, turning back around to flip over his next batch of pancakes.

"There was the screaming-" Edym began.

"-the amnesia-" Lea added.

"-apparently there was a beach-"

"-who the fuck even is Riku-"

"-you missed your train-"

"-your bus-"

"-your lecture-"

"-but you didn't miss your interview!"

"But that went horribly." Lea pointed out with a slender and well polished fingernail.

"Oh! You got lost too!" Edym chirped, soaking up his maple syrup with his pancake before horrifically stuffing it in his mouth.

"That...I... _what?_ " Roxas whispered, face stuck in a hollow expression of disbelief and shock.

"Yeah, you had us worried."

"We had to drive around for an hour before we found you at the Thirteenth Darkness with Larxene."

"You looked like a lost puppy." Edym cooed, earning an angry swat from the short blond in the room.

"He's right, you were on the verge of tears and Larx looked highly uncomfortable. She asked that you don't speak with her for two months." Lea informed Roxas who sank into his stool with a groan, his forehead resting against the cool surface of the bench for relief.

"You're kidding me."

"Nope, sorry dude." Edym pat him on the back lightly as Lea pushed a plate of pancakes towards the two of them.

"You're feeling better though...right?"

Roxas moved his head to look up at Lea and his frizzy, wild ponytail of burning red hair, "Yeah, I guess. I mean, learning about my supposed breakdown yesterday has been mildly traumatic...that and I stubbed my toe again this morning."

"Again? You should really get a new bed." Edym managed to get out around the pancake stuffed in his mouth. Lea swatted him on the head.

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Geez, sorry _Mum_." Edym groaned, earning an unimpressed glare from Lea. The red-head sighed and checked the clock.

"Eat up Roxy, we gotta be at the station in fifteen."

"Yup."

 

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

 

Sora laid spread-eagled across his bed, the sheets a mess and his pillow lay abandoned on the floor. His ceiling of constant, parallel, planks of wood haunted him as he tried to sort out his thoughts. He'd been in the city. There'd been a red-head with the most on-fleek eyeliner he'd ever seen and a wimpy undercut that ate like there was no tomorrow.

It all felt so real, like he'd really been there but...if he'd really been there then wouldn't he have woken up there? He blinks slowly and his eyelids feel like sandpaper against his eyes. Gross.

He struggles to get himself out of bed and he struggles to rid himself of his stunned expression. It was...Thursday? Yeah. Thursday. He looked across the room and checked his calendar. Nope. It was Friday. Where had Thursday gone?

He stumbles out of his room and down the stairs, absent-mindedly reading over his mother's note saying she'd be at work all day. He gets himself a bowl of cereal and sits on his porch, taking in the sea breeze that ruffled his hair fondly.

There was no beach in the city. There were cars and clouds of dark smog that made him cough. He remembered coughing a lot...in his dream. Dream? It felt more like a memory but he wouldn't have had blond hair if it was a memory.

His fingers toy with his necklace idly and he frowns. He felt weird. Out of place and at home at the same time. It felt like there was something itchy at the back of his mind. An answer he didn't know yet. A face he hadn't seen yet even though he knew the name that went with it.

"Roxas?" He breathed out, waiting for the sea, sky and sand to respond, to tell him all about the blond boy he'd been in his dreams, but nothing came. There was nothing but the gentle hush of the waves kissing the shore and the leaves rustling amongst the breeze, soothing sounds that lulled his eyes into closing and feeling the space around him.

No smog. No cars. No wild red-head. No undercut blond. No scary blonde lady. No Roxas.

He opened his eyes and looked upward, ignoring the wind-chimes Kairi had made with him last week.

No Roxas?

No.

Even though he knew it was just a dream, Sora couldn't deny the torturously real feeling that surfaced when he rolled Roxas' name off his tongue.

"Roxas."

He hummed and pushed his empty bowl across the weathered porch, laying down and closing his eyes. Maybe if he went back to sleep, he'd see him again and he'd know the reality behind the name.

 

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

 

Xion looks around their room of boxes, towering stacks threatening to topple and the only thing stopping is the lack of room to move. They feel a little lost and a lot lonely. They wish they didn't have to move.

"You alright sweetie?" Their mum calls out from where she was setting up the kitchen. Xion slaps themself out of their daze.

"Yeah! Just don't really know where to begin."

"Hmm, how about your clothes?"

"Okay." Xion turned back to their boxes and sighed. Which ones had their clothes?

Their old house had been bigger and only a short drive away from the beach. They'd spend every weekend collecting seashells with Namine where the two of them would chat and laugh. Their old house had been bigger with a swinging seat on the veranda and a little hedge the acted as a fence. The third floorboard from their room had creaked every time it was stepped on and their mum had broken her toe on the shower recess. Their old house had memories. Their new house had memories too but none of them were theirs. It was empty to them and not quite home yet but that was okay. That was what time was for.

Still...

They wished they hadn't left.

Xion strode into their room, determinedly pushing their thoughts to the back of their mind where they swore they felt something push back. But that didn't matter now. Right now, they just had to unpack their clothes. Then there would be Indian take-away for dinner, a movie marathon and then sleep. They open their iPod and start playing some Dodie, relishing the soft vocals of "Sick of Losing Soulmates" as they select a box and open it, fingers struggling with the tape until they gave up and found a pair of scissors. It's all their jumpers shmooshed together to form one giant, warm and cuddly pile that immediately makes Xion feel like sleeping.

They pull them out and start sorting the jumpers into piles when it happens. They hear a voice, slightly muffled as if they're hearing it through a wall which is weird because they feel like it should be right next to them. Xion looks around and tries to see where it's coming from when their eyes land on a pair of golden ones staring right back at them. They yelp and drop the jumper they were holding and the gold eyes flicker but they don't disappear.

It _can't_ be real and it most certainly can't be normal to suddenly see a wavering figure in your room but apparently Xion wasn't normal nor rea- _no!_ They were real! They were real, their mum was real and her hugs were the best even if she wasn't around a lot she was real so they had to be real too but floating eyes weren't it couldn't be they were real this was fine breathe steady latch onto the fabric of the jumper try to calm down but they're floating so high up everything feels unreal because it is because they're only one point in time and-

_"Xion!"_

Their mum was suddenly there, wrapping her arms around her child. Xion stiffened at the contact before collapsing into it, tears and nose running onto their mother's shirt. The eyes were still there and Xion cried harder. They weren't real but they were. They had to be. They weren't going crazy. They were fine. They were here. Just breathe.

Xion closed their eyes and tried to forget the eyes, the face, the body that flickered with a relentless hush like snow on a TV screen.

 

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

 

Vanitas stared at the girl curled up and crying in the middle of his bedroom.

“What the fuck.”

His whisper grated on his ears and he quickly snapped his legs up as if the floor had suddenly turned to lava. He changed his position, preferring to squat in his creaking desk chair as he rubbed his eyes. He rubbed at them until they felt raw and stung a little. He looked back up.

She was gone.

“What the _fuck._ ”

He went to leap off his chair, his feet catching and he fell forwards as the chair catapulted away from him, toppling over and crashing into his bed behind him. Vanitas groaned and lifted himself up on his elbows, squinting through the pain and looking around his room. She was really gone.

“Who the fuck?” He murmured to himself, pushing himself up so he could cross his legs and survey his room. He glanced over his mirror, passing over it without a care before quickly flicking his gaze back to it in shock.

_Blond?_

He reached up and grabbed his hair and felt his heart race when he saw his reflection fail to do the same, instead its mouth fell agape, blue eyes staring back at him in shock. He blinked and his reflection went back to normal.

 _“What the fuck?!”_ The strangled screech filled his room as his grip on his hair tightened. His nails biting into his scalp, the pain a refreshing, clear-cut feeling compared to the mess of ( **fear** ) confusion tangling itself up inside his chest like a rampant cloud of scribbles in his book.

His legs are full of nervous energy as they spread out from their crossed position, instead sprawling in front of him so he rocks his weight back onto his free hand placed solidly on the musty rug underneath him. His eyes flit around the room wildly and he cannot, for the life of him, let them rest on any one thing.

He had to be hallucinating.

He was officially, completely crazy.

Yup.

“Fuck!” He squeaked just as his bedroom door was opened with a violent swing.

“Vanitas,” croaked his ‘dad’ as he stood in the doorway, a disapproving glare set on his face, “What are you doing?”

“Hallucinating.” He snapped back, his ‘father’ huffed out a puff of annoyed air through his nose and turned on his heel.

“Do so quietly.”

Frustration bubbled up within Vanitas as he pushed back the urge to ( **cry** ) scream. He stood up and angrily stomped across his room, slamming his door shut with a vicious grin, knowing it would do his ‘dad’s head in. He stomped back across the room muttering “Fuck you”s under his breath, rearranging his chair so it was once more upright and plonking himself down, clicking open several programs on his computer and sliding his headphones back on.

“Aren’t you supposed to ask if I’m okay?” He hissed under his breath as music flooded his ears, drowning out his own voice so he didn’t have to hear how ( **miserable, broken** ) pissed off he was.

 

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

 

“Ven, are you okay?”

The blond jolts back away from the window he had practically pressed his face against. An embarrassed and guilty blush captured his face as Aqua looked through the window to the objects that lay behind it.

“I didn’t think you were overly interested in women’s shoes.” Aqua stated with a light laugh bubbling at the back of her voice.

“I just…they’re pretty.” He mumbled, burying the haunting image of his supposed reflection. A reflection that barely glanced at him with eyes that shone pure gold in the cold, afternoon light. Eyes that clearly didn’t belong to him.

“Hmm,” Aqua hummed before carefully looking him up and down, subconsciously stepping to the side to let a passer-by walk past, “are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Huh?” Ventus looked up at Aqua, big blue eyes widening in innocent confusion.

“Well, you seem out of sorts today. Are you catching a cold?” She asked, reaching out to press her hand to his forehead but Ven shook his head and gently pushed her hand away.

“Nah, I guess I just didn’t sleep well. Sorry for worrying you.”

“As long as you’re sure.” She frowned. He could sense the older sibling instinct kick in and he quickly pulled a smile onto his face.

“Of course I am! Come on, you wanted to go check out the new café yeah?” He raced past her, hearing her laugh in surprise behind him.

“Ven! Wait up!”

He paid her no mind, instead letting his happiness falter for a split second to check his reflection once more. No black hair. No gold eyes. Blond hair. Blue eyes. But…those weren’t the clothes he was wearing. His eyes widened as he noticed his reflection stare back at him in shock.

_“Ven!”_

He came to an abrupt stop, whipping around to see Aqua panting by the bus-stop, bemused smile on her face.

“You ran right past it!”

“Oh, uh, sorry.” He called back to her, turning around and walking back to her side, ignoring how he saw his reflection flicker as it split in two; one half him, the other disappearing on ahead, running somewhere he couldn’t see.

He must’ve slept terribly for him to be seeing things.

 

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

 

“Earth to the ass of rocks.” Lea bumped Roxas on the head, watching as his friend jolted out of his daze, “I know you think highly of yourself but I didn’t think you thought yourself so drop-dead gorgeous you’d actually stop running for the train.”

“Huh? Oh, shit, sorry.” Roxas cursed, looking down at the train station that sat at the end of the street, just a few paces from them.

“No biggie, come on, Isa’ll eat us alive if we don’t make it.” Lea warned him and Roxas laughed.

“I can picture his face now, the vein on his forehead would be popping-”

“-practically _tripled_ in size-”

“God, he’d kill us with a single glare.”

“You sure he hasn’t already?” Lea smirked slyly.

Roxas snorted at him and ran past him, feet carrying him at top-speed to the train station, his travel card ready in his hand.

“Please, he hasn’t got me yet!”

“Don’t jinx yourself!” Lea laughed as he picked up the pace, chasing after the short blond, feet pounding on the concrete footpath as the pair weaved their way through pedestrians all moving as one gelatinous mob to the train station. Roxas delicately elbowed his way through the crowds and the barriers, only coming to a stop as soon as he reached the platform, panting and standing up straight.

The train pulls in just as he notices the girl on the opposite platform, blue eyes and black hair and she’s staring right at him. He steps onto the train, sits down, looks through the window and she’s gone.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (So what'd you think?)


	2. Your Side and Mine

**Pieces flying into place**

**Flying to your side and mine**

**We cross lines but never meet**

**Except in the mirror**

**The boundary is blurred**

**But your face is clear**

**What are we**

**?**

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

There’s nothing underneath the hand. The fingers wiggle, the synapses fire off but the sensation is distant, like looking up from your bedroom window and seeing the stars. They’re there but they’re not where you are. The body lies horizontal. It’s there. But you’re not. They’re not. They are…further. Away. Distant. Disconnected. There’s a thrum, a steady beat pounding in a brittle bird cage as a chasm opens up underneath. Underneath? No, around. Around? No, everywhere. The chasm opens up everywhere in every sense of the word. Inside and out. They can’t feel the world revolve around them. Their eyes are open but whatever they’re seeing doesn’t register but something does, something breaks through. There’s a small prick, a synapse fires off and it reaches the brain, sparking a glint of recognition in blue eyes. Something slowly trickles back into the body, their body. It tugs her hand, guiding it to meet the feeling, the sensation, the bed and the air. Grey light peeks through a gap in the curtain and it’s mostly silent.

Xion blinks once. Twice. Then a third time for good measure. Their eyes clear up a little and they can hear the clock tick-tock across the room. Their phone buzzes again and they groan. They feel too tired to move. They’re also too afraid, because what would happen if they rolled off their bed and right into the abyss of loss again? They move their legs slowly, using their toes to reach out into the air and find the carpeted floor. It’s firm and real. Good. Just as it should be.

They stand up and tip-toe across said floor, managing to avoid falling flat on their face. They reach their small oval mirror, eyes following the curved branches that frame it with plastic, minuscule birds and flowers. They look like…well they look terrible. But it’s nothing that a quick wash can’t fix. They side-step over to their cupboard, avoiding the boxes that remain, littering the floor with sharp edges and angles. A small black dress with a white uh…peter pan collar? The name escapes them. Some black tights, small black pumps and a white headband. They glance to their iPod and quickly snatch it up; better check the weather.

Rain.

Oh joy.

Better throw a warm cardigan and scarf into the mix…or maybe replace the headband with a beanie? Could they pull that off? They shrug and tug the items out, laying them on their bed lazily. May as well give it a shot. Oh. They forgot the binder. They turn back to their cupboard and dig around, searching for it underneath the messy piles of haphazardly sorted out clothes. Whatever, they’ll clean it up later. They turn around, binder in hand and shriek in surprise.

There’s a boy in their room.

A boy with blue eyes, brown hair and tanned skin who is very much shirtless and very much in Xion’s room.

He turns to look at them, as if he just noticed them, mouth agape with shock. He then has the audacity to lift a finger and point at them.

“Wh-What are you doing in my room?!”

An angry and embarrassed flush consumes their face.

“ _Your_ room?! This is _my_ room! Get out!” Their fists clench up tightly and they feel just about ready to both cry and punch this boy.

“What?! I can’t just get out of my own room!”

_“Get out!!”_

“Hey! If anyone should get out it should be you! You- _You pervert girl!!_ ”

Xion snaps, eyes welling up and face burning as they surge forward. Their fist collides with the boy’s face, the contact feels both good and terrifying at the same time because any chance of him being a hallucination is gone. He’s there and real and in Xion’s room and how did he get there? He staggers backwards and Xion’s hand hurts, they think that maybe they didn’t form the fist the right way but it doesn’t matter now because he’s cradling his face and his blue eyes are clouded with pain and it kind of feels like Xion just kicked a puppy.

_“That hurt!!”_ He cried, voice pitched higher than what it was before, small tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“Ah, well, that’s what you get for breaking into my room!” Xion snapped breathlessly, the adrenaline surge slowly receding like the tide from their veins.

“I already told you, this is my room!”

“No it’s not!”

“Xion?” They stiffened, looking past the boy to their bedroom door. Their mind went immediately to a film-like scenario; their mum was slowly making her way down the narrow corridor, sleepily rubbing at her eyes, concern in her frown, she’ll reach out and knock on the door.

“Y-Yeah?” Xion responds and is overwhelmed by this wave of guilt. There’s a boy in their room and they feel like they have to hide him.

“Is everything alright? I heard you yelling.”

They lock eyes with the boy and wonder. What the hell were they supposed to do with him? Stuff him in their cupboard? Unlikely! But…something felt wrong, ‘iffy’ one might say. They felt like they needed to ask question but what exactly escaped them. They quickly glanced over the boy. He didn’t seem like much of a threat, in fact he seemed to be wary of Xion as he continued to gently massage his cheek.

“Sorry,” Xion apologised through the door, “there was a…uh…spider.”

The boy looks at them incredulously.

“Oh, I thought you grew out of that.” Xion’s face flared up again and the boy looks at them with wide eyes. They can’t tell if he’s amused, curious or seeing a kindred spirit in them.

“Mum!” They yelp, eyes flitting from the door to where the boy shuffles to the side, crossing his arms.

“Okay okay,” their mum laughs, “I’ll start getting breakfast ready.”

“Okay.” Xion responded, effectively ending the conversation. They wait until they can hear the kettle in the kitchen begin to boil before turning back to the boy. He’s still got his arms crossed and he’s looking at them. Xion knows that cheeky glint in his eyes.

“I’m afraid of spiders too.” He quips.

“I am not,” They bite out, “afraid of spiders!”

“Sure, cool.”

Silence passed between the two of them. Xion tried to cross their arms and look as angry as they could but they felt too nervous to stand still. They opted to shuffle on their feet instead.

“So…” the boy mumbled, “you’re still in my room.”

“You’re still in mine!” Xion quickly snapped back.

“How are both in each other’s rooms? That can’t work.” He whispered to himself.

“But we’re not, we’re in my room.” Xion muttered.

“Hey! My room’s here too!” They glare at him, eyes widening a little as he blurs just a bit. They squint, hoping the fuzzy outline around him will fade and it does. It does fade. It blows out and away from his form and suddenly they can see another room. A messy room where clothes are thrown over the floor and random little knick-knacks sit on shelves and there’s a window and beyond the window is-

_“The ocean.”_ They breathe, rushing past him and pressing their forehead against the window, barely aware of how carpet fades into wooden floorboards.

“Yeah. The ocean. It’s big and blue.” The boy spoke from somewhere behind them but their blue eyes didn’t tear away from the rhythmic slosh of gentle wave after wave. It wasn’t the same ocean that Xion knew but no matter the shore the water remained the same.

“I missed it.”

It had only been three days since they had left the ocean behind them, travelling inland to somewhere where cars hummed and cafés ran amok on narrow streets and down hidden laneways, but still, the statement was true. True and painful.

Xion breathed in and out slowly, relishing the fresh sea breeze before blinking and looking down at their hands. Hands that were lying on solid wood. They stepped back, off the boy’s bed and ran back to where their own room lay. They turned back around and desperately tried to observe.

The ocean was so far away and yet, by crossing one fuzzy boundary where their room bled into this boy’s, they were able to see it again. It felt real. It smelt real. It had to be…real.

“This is real.” They whispered and the boy frowned.

“What?”

“This is real.” Xion repeated.

“Well yeah, you’re in my roo- _woah!_ ” Xoin cut him off, grabbing his wrist and dragging him over the boundary line onto their side. They watched as it dawned on him, as the change in location settled over his eyes. He went slack in shock, his arms limply hanging by his sides and it looked like, if he took a single step, he would collapse.

“What…what is…what?” He squeaked.

“It’s real.”

He stared at Xion, blue eyes burning into each other like a flame turned up to as high a temperature it can be. His mouth moved but no words formed and for a moment Xion feared they were still lying in their bed, forgetting sound and embracing the void encasing their ears.

“Who are you?” He whispered.

“I’m-!”

He vanished. His warmth disappearing from their grasp, the boundary falling away and their room was whole again. They looked to where the window had been and then down to their hand. Their hand that hung in the air, fingers curled as if still trying to hold onto the boy’s arm.

“I’m Xion.”

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ventus wakes up, earbuds compressed uncomfortably in his ears and he groans, yanking them at with a relieving pop, feeling comfort settle over him as he found he could now lie on his sides. He rolled over and breathed in.

Smoke?

Ven’s eyes snapped open in alarm. Was there a fire? It took him longer than he liked to admit for the panic to fade and for the space around him to register. The slanted ceiling, the dark walls covered from corner to corner in posters, the bean-bag, the desk shoved into a small alcove cut into the wall where a large monitor sat and some weird keypad thing. Old, red, flannel sheets lay underneath him and the music from the earbuds continued to play but it wasn’t his music. It wasn’t his room.

Where…?

He jolted out of the bed and froze in the centre of the room, he felt like a thief, he felt like he was standing in the middle of a bright spotlight and all eyes were on him.

This wasn’t his house.

Where was this?

He took a quick breath in, falling back onto the bed, a sharp pain shooting through his chest momentarily before his gaze fell to the hands in his lap. He froze. They weren’t his hands. These weren’t his pyjamas. Oh no. He bolts up off the bed again and whips around, quickly locating a mirror and he doesn’t like what he sees staring back at him. Gold eyes instead of blue. Black hair instead of blond. He’s not himself.

He’s someone else.

Ventus slumped against the mirror, hand sliding against the clear surface, marking it with oils so it left a haunting hand print. His abdomen twinged uncomfortably but he ignored it, turning his attentions to his swirling thoughts. This wasn’t his room, his body, his life. Was this a dream? The words felt false in his mind and yet he tried to cling to them. Please, tell him this was a dream. This couldn’t be real. It just couldn’t be. Swapping bodies with a stranger? That was something that happened in one of Terra’s books, not in real life. So this couldn’t be anything other than fiction…but…

The flesh and face were all too realistic. The slow contractions and dilations of the pupils were so reminiscent of those that he’d seen when he’d been awake, when he’d watched people move past in their small crowds from behind a café window.

This was no dream. He’d never had a dream this realistic and vivid before so what was the point of starting now? No, this was real life, someone else’s real life. And he was in it.

“Okay,” Ventus whispered to the room around him, hoping that some dust particle would answer him, “what am I supposed to do now?”

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

“Un- _fucking_ -believable.” Vanitas hissed as he gripped the bathroom sink.

Those same blue eyes and blond hair that had once been in his mirror were now back…and on his face. No. Okay, no this wasn’t his face, it couldn’t be. His face was sharp angles and this one was soft chubby cheeks and supple skin and gross, it felt uncomfortable practically picking out every atom of difference between this face and his original one.

Every movement and sensation was so alien to him. The way he bent the elbows, the places where he put his feet, hell, even the way he breathed felt so completely foreign. But that’s probably just ‘cause he’s been destroying his lungs for the past two years.

Trailing blue eyes over every available surface, Vanitas maps out the new place he’s in. It’s clean, it’s got better décor than his old pad, and so far it seems like no one else lived here. Was it just little boy blue here or were there some parental figures that actually did their fucking job ( **unlike his own** )? Did they make sure to raise him right?

He glares at his soft hands, free of any callouses or blemishes and hisses in aggravation.

“Guess some guys really do get the cream of the crop, huh?”

He exited the small, pristine bathroom, it’s sheer cleanliness making him physically uncomfortable. He sighed and figured it would be best to go back to the bedroom and sleep this off, after all, if sleep induced this then maybe sleep would end this. Vanitas froze. Where was the bedroom?

“Fuck.”

He stumbled his way around, hands hovering in front of doorknobs only to think better of it and dart away, jolting back sharply as if the polished metal would burn him. Everything felt to clean ( **for him** ) to touch. His presence was tainting every white wall it walked past, every step he took made him paranoid, he wondered if he was leaving specks of devilish dirt behind on the vacuumed carpet, some sort of sinister confirmation of ( **the burden of** ) his presence.

He finally found the bedroom and the sanctuary it gave him. He shut the door quickly and breathed out a sigh of relief as he slumped against the piece of wood covered in small notes and reminders. He could really use a smoke right now.

His now blue eyes lifted and glazed over the room. Soft and sweet. Designed for comfort. It looked like every corner, nook and cranny had been decorated with the intent for sleep. Pillows were on every surface; the chair, the bed, one was even on the thin window-sill (a feat Vanitas didn’t understand but was most certainly impressed with). There was a throw blanket on the back of the desk chair and the desk itself was well organised, save for a few loose papers that had notes scrawled and smudged into them.

There were a few clothes lying at the end of the bed that had been violently disturbed thanks to Vanitas’ rude awakening ( _seriously, who the fuck managed to sleep with their curtains open?_ ). Shoes sat idle on the floor and a small heater was pushed up against the wall, covered in dust and forgotten until needed. There was a light blue chest of draws that was decorated with childish stickers, some that made Vanitas snort and others that made him ( **upset** ) wistful, remembering a time where he had wanted similar things ( **but never got them** ).

Vanitas moved to the centre of the room and stood there, listening to the brush of tree branches on the roof and the empty silence that seemed to fill the whole house. Maybe he really was alone for today.

The liberating adrenaline coursed through him, tugging a smile onto his cheeks, ideas racing through his head until he heard a small notification beep go off. He tracked down the source ( _who keeps a phone under their pillow?_ ) and unlocked it. Whoever blond and blue eyes was they obviously didn’t know how to properly protect their information. 

The notification was a text message.

“Who the fuck is Terra?” He mumbled to himself, reading over the brief message, sticking his tongue out in rude and childish disgust at the presence of an emoji. His disgust only grew further as he flicked up to see a message sent from the person whose body he now inhabited, seeing their small text overwhelmed by unnecessary emojis. His eye twitched in annoyance. Apparently this ‘Ven’ was a…well he was someone Vanitas knew he wouldn’t get along with. He read over Terra’s message again and sighed.

“ _Hey Ven, wanna go hang at the park today? I’ll buy shortcakes!_ ” He scoffed, “The hell is the guy on?”

He quickly thumbed out a response, feeling utterly violated as he forced himself to add the appropriate emojis, mimicking ‘Ven’s earlier messages. He dropped the phone onto the bed and sat down, resting his face in his hands and thinking long and hard.

“Okay,” he began, “For one day only, I am Ven. Does that mean Ven is me?”

( **God he hoped not.** )

“Does this mean I’m father-figure free for a whole day?”

( **Most likely.** )

“Does this mean I’m free? For one whole day?”

( **Yes.** )

Vanitas grinned, surging upwards and glancing over at Ventus’ cupboard, a wicked smile crawling over his previously pensive face.

“Alright, let’s fuck some shit up Venny boy.”

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ven lifted the earbud back up against his ear. The music wasn’t bad; in fact, it was very…uh…different to what he was expecting. Given the appearance of the room, he’d figured that this new person he was would have a much, um, _louder_ taste in music. This however was a nice beat that bopped lazily in tranquility. Ambient and effective, like some kind of audio anaesthetic.

He settled the earbuds in and smiled softly to himself.

Not bad.

He stretched his borrowed arms and grimaced as another sharp twang of pain coursed through him. What even was this? It had been happening ever since he woke up. Was it something serious? Oh god, what if this guy was like, a street fighter or something? What if he was in a gang? Ven paled at the idea of having to take this guy’s place for (hopefully just the) one day.

Ven glided back over to the mirror, frowning at the smudge he left there. He wished there were some tissues or something to clean it up with, maybe he’d have to apologise…okay but how exactly was he supposed to do that? A note? He hummed to himself as he lifted up the loose, grey t-shirt that this boy had worn to bed, making sure to tuck the earbud cords out of the way. A note could work. He tilted his head so he could examine himself. He fell still.

Bruises littered the boy’s chest, angry welts and some slight cuts. It was obviously nothing life-threatening otherwise the boy wouldn’t still be here, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t nothing.

“How…?” Ven mumbled in horror, delicately reaching out to poke one of the bruises. It sent an angry pulse along the nervous system and Ven hissed in pain. He looked up and met the pair of gold eyes that stared back at him, bags under their bottom eyelids and black hair sagging over his head.

“Who are you?”

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

_Who are you?_

Roxas frowned as the question repeated itself over and over in his mind. He stirred his cereal slowly, eyes looking past the flakes as they collapsed into the milk, succumbing to sogginess. Edym glanced at him in concern and then to Lea who shrugged.

“Roxy?”

“Yeah?” Roxas mumbled, finally deciding to shovel a spoonful of his breakfast into his mouth, completely ignorant to the way some milk dribbled down his chin.

“Uh…you okay bud?”

“Never better.”

Edym threw a disbelieving stare Lea’s way and the red-head sighed.

“Are you su-”

“I’m _fine_.” Roxas cut him off, abandoning his breakfast and rushing upstairs, the question rolling over and over in his mind like a riptide under the water’s surface. He entered his room and slid down the back of his door, covering his face with his hands and pulling his knees up, locking himself away from anything and everything else.

“Who are you?” He asks, blocking out the way four other voices chime in. Each and every seeking out another name and face, another lifeline, another plane of existence.

Who are ( _we_ ) you?

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um, hey, I updated again...thoughts?


	3. You're Suddenly There

**It’s suddenly new**

**And you’re suddenly there**

**No don’t go**

**Stay**

**Tell me your story**

**I feel like I care**

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Vanitas woke up to soft chords strumming in his ears and actual pyjamas on his body. His eyes widened and he stared at his ceiling, figuring out the strange sensation of the sheets actually covering his body rather than laying crumpled underneath him.

Yeah okay, that body-swap shit was clearly not a dream.

So it really did happen.

So he and…uh…‘Ventus’( **?** ) had really switched places? Hot damn. A smirk cracked onto his lips as he replayed the shit he had done yesterday, wearing blue eyes and blond hair. 

“Hoo boy,” he whistled, “have fun with that Venny boy.”

He let his earbuds slide out from where they were nestled and sat up on his bed, his chest aching uncomfortably and for one horrible second he was stricken that Ventus ( **knew** ) had seen them. His injuries. He froze up, his eyes staring across his room to his collage of old posters and forgotten streets signs that he’d found lying on the side of the road.

‘Stop’.

( **He wished it would** ).

“Fuck nuggets.” He hissed under his breath, dropping his gaze to the fuzzy socks that had been pulled onto his feet. Okay, when the hell had he gotten those? He sighed and went to stand up, hand reaching out to grab his iPod on instinct when it knocked something else. A foreign obstacle that had absolutely no place being on his shelf.

He turned to look at it, eyes widening in shock.

It was a jar of cream. It had some weird medical label on it and there was a vivid green sticky note attached to it. That was his sticky note. From his sticky note thingy. On his desk. What. He slowly reached over and snatched the note, ignoring how the jar wobbled on the shelf. He was too busy to pay attention to such a small detail, his eyes were glued to the green paper, scanning the unfamiliar scripture.

_‘Apply twice daily until the wounds heal, supposed to stop infection – Ven’_

Ven.

Ventus.

Blond.

Blue eyes.

“You little shit.” Vanitas spat as his eyes flicked back to the jar. Ventus fucking ( **found help** ) snitched on him. He’d ( **done what Vanitas couldn’t** ) gone to a freaking hospital and got someone to examine him. Now people knew. People knew and if they knew then that meant…

 _“Shit!”_ He yelled, picking up the plastic jar and throwing it across his room, hearing it slam into the wall as he stood up, viciously quick breaths running rampant through his lungs and he started to stomp around his room, hands pulling at his messy hair.

‘Dad’ would find out.

He would find out and he would know.

_He would know and he-_

Vanitas grabbed the side of his desk chair and threw it back against the headboard of his bed, something snapped, the sound breaking his awakened rage and he swallowed down air, filling his lungs until he thought they would burst out from his chest in big, fucking bloody mess ( **just like the rest of him** ).

He contorts his face into a livid snarl. Fuck Ventus. He doesn’t need his ( **help** ) pity. He doesn’t need ( **anyone** ) him. He ( **does** )n’t.

Something hot and wet runs down his face ( **tears, you’re crying** ) and he wipes away at it angrily, his knees giving ( **up** ) out underneath him and he buckles, collapsing to the floor with aggravated and upset shudders that completely ruin any comprehensible thought process. It’s all just agony and anguish and he wants it to stop.

( **Please make it stop** )

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ventus wakes up and he feels pretty proud of himself. He’d made sure to take care of the other person yesterday, who was called Vanitas. He’d done some sleuthing; he’s seen enough shows to have some idea of what to do in a situation like body-swapping. He’d investigated Vanitas’ computer for any hints as to who he was. He liked making music with some weird keyboard pad thing, and it was actually pretty good music. He liked dark clothes. He lived in a small, two-storey unit with at least one other person, his parent maybe? Ven still isn’t sure, they were out all day after all.

Vanitas also had some bad habits.

_Smoking._

Ventus still can’t get the gross sensation of fuzzy teeth out of his mind. He hopes Vanitas reads the note he left him on the bathroom mirror. Maybe it’ll convince him to stop and take care of himself.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

He manages to pull himself together enough to stumble to the bathroom. He needs to wash his face and wash all this bullshit away. He can think about this later, for now, all he wanted to do was get cleaned up and blast a song from his speakers, drowning the world out. Vanitas shuts the bathroom door behind him instinctively and sighs, slowly looking up to the mirror.

He freezes.

Vanitas’ eyebrow twitches, his red, puffy eyes read the offending green sticky note. He can feel his anger bubbling up again.

_‘Smoking is bad for your health! D: Think of the lung cancer! You’re still young, you should try quitting’_

He takes a quick breath in, steadying himself, hands raised in prayer to centre himself before his golden eyes shoot open.

“FUCK YOU!!!”

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ventus smiles to himself, yes, he’s pretty sure he’s done some good. He wonders what Vanitas did. It is most likely one hundred percent certain that he ended in Ven’s body, after all, that’s how it worked in the tv shows and movies. He wonders if Vanitas left him a note.

He searches around for a bit and manages to locate a torn piece of paper on his desk, it’s crumpled at the edge and there’s a smudged message left on it. The handwriting is similar to the stuff he saw in Vanitas’ notebooks yesterday, so this must be from him. He picks it up and examines it.

_‘Have fun nerd ;p – V’_

A chill runs through Ventus. He immediately feels violated. He drops the note and stares at his wall.

“What did you do?”

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Roxas is sitting at his desk when it happens. 

“Uh…hello?”

He jolts up and whips around, his hand tightly gripping his pencil as it registers on him that this voice is unknown to him. There’s a strange voice behind him in his bedroom and how the hell did they get there?

It’s a boy. A boy with tanned skin and blue eyes, there are crumbs of sand scattered on his skin and water droplets roll off of him, dripping onto the floor…or at least they should. Instead, the float off into some strange in-existence. Roxas glares at the boy.

“Who are you?!” He barks.

“Ah! I’m Sora!” The boy yelps back, panic rising in his eyes as his gaze flicks to the pencil in Roxas’ white-knuckled grip, “Are you going to kill me with a pencil?!”

“Maybe!”

_“Oh my god!”_

_“Roxas!”_ The door to his room bangs open and Edym turns to him with wild eyes; wild, sleep-deprived eyes, “Scream later in the day, I’m trying to sleep dude!”

Roxas goes to point at the boy standing in the middle of his room, soaking wet and dripping water all over oblivion but Edym doesn’t want to hear it, he raises his hand with a sharp _‘uh-uh!’_ and closes the door. The short blond can hear him march back down to his room and close the door. He turns his attentions back to the brunet who has kept his eyes trained on the pencil and has also stepped back a bit.

“What was that?”

“What was what?!” Roxas hissed, swirling his chair around and attempting to uncross his legs.

“That! The noise! The muffled noise! The muffled angry noise you talked to!” The boy, Sora, squeaks, lifting a finger to point in the direction of Roxas’ bedroom door.

“That was Edym! He walked in! Then he left! And it’s about time you did to!”

“ _What?!_ I’m just here on my beach! Where else am I supposed to go to?” Sora whined.

“Beach?” Roxas scoffed, “That’s it bucko, I’m calling the cops.”

“What?!” Sora yelped, watching as Roxas pulled out his phone from his back pocket. The tanned boy starts forward a little and Roxas lifts the pencil menacingly, its crisp and sharpened point aimed directly at Sora’s gut. The boy gulped and backed away.

“First I was punched in the face for being in my own room and now I’m getting arrested for going to the beach, what next? Capital punishment for breathing air?!” Sora threw his hands up with a huff before turning away and crossing his arms, his back to Roxas as the blond called the cops.

The number dialled slowly, Roxas tapped his finger against the arm of his chair, eyes flicking to Sora every now and again before he sighed, agitation gripping him. He hung up and lifted the pencil to the back of Sora’s head.

“How did you get in here?”

Sora jolted and turned around, his crossed arms now tight against his chest as he shivered.

“You’re…not gonna call the cops?”

“Shut up and answer the question!”

“Do you have to be so rude?” Sora sniped back, his words changing nothing as Roxas steeled himself, his glare becoming more murderous with each second that passed. Sora gave up and looked down at the floor.

“I don’t know.”

“How can you _not_ know?!” Roxas snapped.

“I don’t know!! I just don’t! One moment I’m alone on the beach and the next the sand is doing that weird fuzzy boundary line from before and you’re there and-”

“Wait,” Roxas lowered his pencil slightly, “Boundary line? Before? This has happened to you before?”

“Yeah! This girl! She punched me! And it hurt! And she missed the ocean? I don’t know, but it was real!” Sora exclaimed, desperation seeping into his exasperated eyes.

“Okay, okay, slow down. What girl? What before?”

“I’ll tell you if you drop the pencil.”

Both pairs of eyes fell to the pencil still tight in Roxas’ hand. The short blond sighed, hold up both his hands and knelt down to place the weapon on the floor. Sora’s nervous gaze followed him carefully, the tension only evaporating once the pencil was safely on the ground. Roxas stood back up and the other boy sighed in relief.

“Okay, I don’t know who she was but she punched me in the face. She thought I was in her room which didn’t make sense because she was in mine and it was really confusing but…I think there was this line? It was fuzzy but it, like, joined our rooms together. She could cross over into mine and vice versa.” Sora explained flippantly, his gaze raking over Roxas’ room as the blond contemplated his words.

“A boundary?”

“Yeah…” Sora mumbled before crying out in alarm. Roxas started, a quick surge of panic leaping through him as he saw the brunet point at him, eyes wide in determination

_“You!”_

“Me?”

“I switched bodies with you!! _Roxas!!_ ”

“Yea-wait, what?!” Roxas screeched before clapping his hands out his mouth, glancing to the wall behind him where Edym lay just beyond. He composed himself, peeled his hands away and turned back to Sora to find him barely a foot away, triumphant smile on his face and hands on his hips.

“You’re Roxas!”

“I am! Keep it down will you?” The blond hissed, ducking around Sora who followed his movement playfully.

“We switched bodies! Man that was creepy,” The brunet pulled a face at whatever memory he unearthed, “and kinda scary too! Let me tell you, your friend, Lea was it? Yeah! Lea! He’s a saving grace, honestly, I think I would’ve died without him!”

Roxas froze, pieces falling into place. He turned around, a cross between shock and annoyance on his face.

“You? You were the one who- _oh my god._ ”

“What?”

“You were my breakdown!”

“Breakdown? What breakdown?”

“My breakdown! _THE_ breakdown!” He searched Sora’s face for agreement or recognition or something but all the brunet could do was puff out his cheek and shrug helplessly, “Running out into the street screaming about a beach?!”

“Oh!!!” Sora exclaimed, “That! Right! Yeah, that was a thing.”

“Just a bit.” Roxas hissed, standing up straight and running a hand through his hair, “Okay, what the hell is going on?”

“I dunno.”

“I wasn’t asking you.”

“Then who were you asking? There’s only me here...right?”

“I-You know what?” Roxas sighed, “Just get out. Get out of my room. I…I need to think over this.”

“Okay, sure, great, wonderful, how do I do that exactly?” Sora asked, eyebrow tilted upwards sceptically.

“I don’t know! If you’re on a beach, then just walk away or something!” Roxas hissed, waving his arms around uselessly and Sora shrugged, letting his head loll, water droplets plopping off his hair. 

“Fine, I’ll give it a shot.”

Roxas watched the brunet turn and walk away, his outline becoming fuzzier and fuzzier with each step he took, but…for some reason it was like he hadn’t moved at all. It was like he was just walking on the spot. And yet he was fading. Fading and exiting and something tore at Roxas just a little to see him go.

“W-Wait.” He breathed out, his voice barely a whisper, his hands clenching into fists. Something sad washed over him like a monsoon and he needed to scream, needed to see Sora turn back around and say something because this was all too confusing to deal with alone.

He knew he was too quiet to be heard, not if Sora had walked as far as Roxas thought he had, but still he stopped. Still he turned back around. His face was a blur but Roxas could see something akin to a smile spread of his tanned skin.

“I’ll see you around, Roxas!”

“Wait!” Came the strangled yell, caught on the inside of his throat and his tongue, “This…you’re real?”

The fuzzy smile softened before widening and suddenly everything sharpened around him, a wild breeze through foliage brushing past him as sand filled the gaps between his toes, water lapping at his left one as the chill of the air settled deep into his bones. An overcast sky looked down on the two of them and Sora lifted his arms, locking his hands behind his head with a sunny grin that was enough to warm the world.

“Of course I am!”

Colour snapped away, vanishing into Sora’s smile and then it was gone. His smile was gone and Roxas was staring at a poster in his room, the smile of the musician mute in comparison to his shining memory of Sora’s own.

He looks down at his hands that clench and unclench absently.

He can’t help but feel like something just slipped through his fingers.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Xion lifts themself up off their bed, their hand hovering in the air as the flickering image of the blond boy turns agonisingly sad. They’d seen the boy from before and him talk, but it was like watching a black and white film. All sound was gone and for most of it Xion was sure they were dissociating again.

But they weren’t.

And the blond boy looked so hurt.

So lost.

Xion stood up and moved carefully over to his image as his hands clutched at his chest, his eyes wildly searching the space before him. They lifted their hand and placed it gently on his shoulder, or at least tried to. Their hand slipped through his form and they faltered for a second, fearing that this was all in their head. That this wasn’t real. But even if it wasn’t, it was still wrong of them to ignore this pain and misery.

They levelled their hand out, holding so it looked like it was resting on the boy’s shoulder and they breathed out a hush quietly into the gloom of their room.

“It’s okay.”

The boy jolted, shuddering and tears spilling and Xion’s heart lurched at the image of abandonment and confusion in his eyes. The anguish and turmoil all boiling over into hot tears.

“It’s okay,” they whispered, moving their arms around his shaking figure so it was as if they were holding him, “You’re going to be okay.”

He couldn’t hear them. But that was okay. Because it didn’t change what they said.

He was going to be okay.

He was.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

“Ven,” Aqua started, “we need to talk.”

Ventus’ eyes widened and he tensed. This was it. Vanitas had done something terrible to Aqua yesterday hadn’t he? Or had he just messed with her and it was a simple, unfortunate misunderstanding? He looked up from his bowl of porridge and across the table to where Aqua set down her cup of tea.

“Y-Yeah?”

“About yesterday.”

_Oh no._

“Wh-What about it?”

She sighed, dropping her head so Ventus could see her brown roots coming through the blue dye.

“Yesterday Ven, you disappeared for most of the day and then when we found you, you had climbed onto the roof! With the neighbour’s cat!”

_“Nancy?”_

“There’s only one cat in the entire neighbourhood Ven.” Terra quipped dryly from next to him where he lifted up his last piece of peanut butter toast.

“I uh…” He trailed off.

What the hell had Vanitas done yesterday? Nancy usually hated him. He must’ve baited her with cat-nip. God. He’d taken the cat up onto the roof of the house to get high hadn’t he?

“We’re worried about you Ven.” Aqua insisted, reaching out across the table and holding Ven’s free hand.

“I was just-”

“Ignoring us? No matter how many times we called for you Ven you wouldn’t come down.” Terra sighed.

“It was only at nine that you came inside.” Aqua frowned, “Are you stressed? Has something been bothering you?”

“No, not really.” Ven mumbled, absent-mindedly toying with his breakfast.

Didn’t Vanitas realise how dangerous it was to climb on the roof of a two-storey house? How had he even gotten up there?!

“It was actually kind of impressive,” Terra snorted, “I can’t even imagine how you got up there.”

“Yes. It was a little…incredible.” Aqua admitted, “But don’t do it again okay? You could’ve slipped and broken something!”

“Or died.” Terra dead-panned, throwing Ven a reproachful stare.

The blond sighed and pulled his hand away from Aqua’s, pushing his bowl away from him, his breakfast only half eaten.

“Sorry,” He mumbled, “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Ven, don’t be sorry,” Aqua replied, voice soft with that sisterly concern that came so naturally to her, “we just want you to be okay.”

“I know.” He sighed, angling his gaze to the floor, looking past the chair where Eraqus would sit if he were still here.

It was silent for a bit before Terra finally finished his breakfast, shuffling into the kitchen in his oversize pyjama pants. Ventus could hear the tap turn on but all he thought of was Vanitas. What was his damage? Why would he do something so risky and stupid? And with the neighbour’s cat of all people! What else had he done? Had he actually gone out to get high?

Ven suddenly felt very aware of every miniscule function in his body. From the shifting tendons in his arms to the slight creaks of his spinal cord.

“Ven?”

“Huh?” He looked up sharply, seeing Aqua frowning at him in concern.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His gaze fell a bit, staring at his half-empty bowl and he sighed.

“Yeah.”

Ventus glanced to glass back door, staring at his reflection. For a second he thought his eyes looked golden.

“I’m fine.”

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any mistakes please let me know!!!


	4. We Were Five

**Normal isn’t us**

**Not anymore**

**Holding hands**

**Crossing lines**

**We were five**

**Now we’re more**

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ventus has been looked at weirdly by four different people, each of them spanning across the ages, and he feels like he has to apologise. What for? He's not entirely sure but he thinks that whatever it is they think he's done, it's most likely Vanitas' fault.

A frustrated frown sets on his face as he carries the shopping back home, shoes slapping the pavement forcefully, gaze pointed downwards. Ever since the body swap...thing...trauma...whatever happened Ven has been finding little bits and pieces of Vanitas all around his house. He remembers checking his wallet and finding ten dollars missing only to then to find a packet of hot pockets under his bed...empty. Ventus has now confirmed that Vanitas is the living definition of a trash heap.

Aqua and Terra have been keeping a close eye on him too ever since Vanitas went wild. He's grateful for their concern but he's pretty sure that if they ask him if he's okay one more time he's going to throw something. Which is something he does very much not want to do. But he will. Although...maybe it's called for since Vanitas seemingly stole a horse head mask and stuffed it at the top of his closet. He hopes Vanitas bought it but there was only 10 dollars missing from his wallet and Ven knew that the hot pockets at the corner store only costed 10 dollars.

Ventus sighed miserably, kicking a stone off the path and onto someone's lawn. After all he'd done for Vanitas and this was how he repaid him? Shameful.

He slinked past the neighbour’s house, feet practically dragging all over the path. He turned onto his lawn, lush grass soured by the dull sky and Ven's lacklustre mood. The door jerks open, jamming on the floor before a sharp yank wrenched it free.

"Really should get that fixed." Terra muttered before shooting Ven a quick smile, "Hey Ven."

"Hey." Came the mumbled response.

"You feeling okay?" Terra asked, watching as Ventus snuck inside past him, eyes still trained on the ground.

"I'm fine Terra," Ven sighed, "You can stop asking now you know."

"Heh, sorry" Terra smiled sheepishly, "We're just-"

"Worried?" Ven smirked as he entered the kitchen, laying the shopping bags down on the bench.

"Well, yeah," Terra frowned, "You've never done anything like that before."

"I know, I just..." Ven turned away from Terra, stuffing the milk inside the fridge, "Guess I just wasn't myself."

"You got that right." Terra huffed, "You've got class tomorrow yeah?"

"Please don't remind me." Ventus groaned, the pressure of assignments looming like a dark cloud on the horizon over his shoulders. Terra laughed softly.

"Sorry, but hey, wanna hang afterwards? We can go visit that cafe you like."

Ven perked up, turning back to face Terra, blue eyes wide and hopeful, "Castle of Dreams?” 

"Yup."

"No take-backs?"

"Ven," Terra laughed, "I'm the one suggesting the place."

"No take-backs." Ventus confirmed to himself, returning to the shopping and packing it away on shelves and in cupboards as Terra excused himself to go work on his own assignments.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Xion lifts their elbow onto the desk and rests their head on their hand, gaze drifting out the window to the storm brewing outside. Leaves rustling and losing their grip, falling victim to the racing winds. The humble murmur of their new classmates fell into the background and they flicked their pencil idly, waiting for the lunch bell to ring.

They'd tried to do their study but they couldn't concentrate, all they could think about was the brunet boy they’d met and all the other pairs of eyes they had seen. Why was this happening to them? What exactly was going on? How were they able to see strangers in their bedroom? And not just in their bedroom, they'd seen faces and figures flickering on the bus and on their way to school too. And why was it only them that could see the strangers? Not even their mum could see the wavering mouths as they wobbled with words. It was weird, it was concerning and maybe just a little bit frightening. But they were getting used to it somewhat...whatever 'it' was.

"What the...?"

Speaking of which. Xion flicked their gaze to the wavering figure. The images had been getting more stable recently, and increasing in duration, but even with the increasing amount of times Xion saw strangers in their room they still hadn't seen the brunet since the bedroom incident. Instead it had been glowing gold eyes and flashes of blond hair. Mostly silent save for a few mumbled words here and there.

This person was a boy, all of them seemed to be...well, as far Xion could tell. This boy was blond, had blue eyes and seemed to be easily irritated. The past two times Xion had seen him he had always cursed angrily and turned away from them, blocking them out before they could try anything. It's not like it was their fault. They wondered if they should try talking to him like they did with the boy from the beach but...they were a little bit hesitant to start talking to themselves in front of their classmates.

They turned their gaze back away from him, counting to 10 and then glancing back. They made eye contact and he flinched.

"Wait...can you...can you see me?"

They nodded slowly. The boy paled and went to say something else, body poised and ready to dart either away from them or towards them, Xion couldn't tell. They weren't given a chance to find out.

The bell went and the boy vanished, eyes still wide and mouth still hanging open in shock.

Xion wondered who he was.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Roxas reeled back and sat on his bed, hands only slightly trembling as he looked down at the floor.

The girl...she had seen him? She could see him?

He gulped down his panic. If she could see him, like he could see her, then did that mean those other faces...was she like Sora? Appearing and then disappearing in a flash? And those other flickering figures, the other boys, were they like Sora and the girl? Could they see him? Would they start showing up in his room?

What if they already had?

Roxas shook his head, trying to rid himself of the mental image of strange shadows looming over his bed while he slept. God this was freaking him the fuck out.

What the hell was all this? What was happening? What was going on?

Why him? Why them?

He rested his face in his hands and groaned. His head hurt just asking the questions, what was it going to be like getting the answers?

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

He knows he probably shouldn't be but he feels lonely.

Sora lazily maintains the slow momentum of the hammock, closing his eyes. All he can see is her, and Roxas. He can see them both and those other two he's seen in mirrors and window reflections. Who were they? Would he meet them soon? He grimaced at the thought. He hopes they're not like Roxas who tried to call the cops and do bodily harm...or the good who actually did bodily harm. He opens his eyes and frowns, hand lifting to massage his cheek tenderly. It still hurt.

He kind of wanted to see them again.

A soft whine from underneath him had him glancing down.

"Sorry Goofy," he mumbled, "I'll feed you soon."

The whine in return is resigned but accepting, he can clearly see Goofy lowering his head onto his crossed paws, patiently waiting for Sora to move.

"Now why can't Donald be more like you?" Sora complained. The simple mention of the duck's name setting off a loud bout of angry quacking. Sora could feel his eyebrow twitch and patience stretch thin as the quacking continued. He tried to calm himself, but Donald was very skilled at getting on his nerves. He rocketed upright, the hammock swinging precariously as he lifted a pillow and piffed it at the chicken-wire fence.

"Shut up Donald!" He yelled.

The quacking got louder.

"I hate my life." Sora groaned, collapsing back into the hammock miserably.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Vanitas slouched back into his chair, using his foot to slowly propel him round and round. So far, in the span of one week, he had 'met' four different people. Ventus, a blond with blue eyes that looked like Ventus at the right angle, a brunette with blue eyes that always washed up on the floor of his room with the scent of the beach, and the girl with black hair and blue eyes. She used to be more alarmed whenever she noticed he was there but recently she had become more chill. Maybe she's gotten used to this weird mental crossover they had going on...Vanitas is not entirely sure that's a good thing.

He stops spinning, steadying himself with a tight grip on the edge of his desk. This was weird. This whole thing was ( **terrifying** ) strange and a little bit creepy. How were they all doing this?

Vanitas glanced at his computer, considering his options for a moment. He reached out slowly and clicked open Google, searching for something, anything, that would give some inkling of what was going on.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"Damn," Lea mumbled as he served up their dinner "That earthquake hit hard, huh?"

"Mmhmm." Roxas mumbled, picking up his fork, getting ready to scoop up a mouthful and devour his food.

"They really have it bad out west huh?" Edym commented, failing to see how Roxas’ gaze looked far away from the two in the room to the flickering reflection he saw in the oven door.

The reflection was constantly switching between poses and people. Black and gold was hunched over, focused and ignorant to Roxas’ watching eyes while black and blue seemed to be sitting down, chewing something over and over in her mouth as she looked somewhere to her right, blond and blue was eating something as well but talking animatedly with some blurry brown figure Roxas couldn’t quite see and Sora? He was lying down. Roxas would’ve thought he was asleep if it hadn’t been for how he saw the brunet grimace and flip over to yell muted words at something or someone.

They were all connected by something. However, that something proved to be elusive, leaving them, or at least Roxas, in clouds of confusion. He wondered if he would ever feel normal again.

“Roxas?”

“Oh,” the blond started, “sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine, just wanted to know if you felt like playing UNO.” The red-head shrugged as he pushed his bowl to the side while Edym turned away from the TV and back to his search through the bookshelf, trying to locate the only packet of UNO that they had left (please don’t ask what happened to the others).

“Sure, why not.”

“Don’t cry when you lose Rox and Roll.” Edym snickered, plonking down the battered packet of UNO cards on the table, sinister grin spreading over his face.

“It really is adorable when you try so hard to look evil.” Lea cooed.

“Hey! I can be evil!” Edym pouted.

“Oh yeah, you’re the picture of heinous criminality.” Roxas snorted.

“I can so be the picture of whatever you just said if I wanna be, I mean, check out my evil laugh!” Edym then proceeded to demonstrate said ‘evil’ laugh which came out sounding more like Santa Claus being strangled by one of the reindeers after they realised that he was skimping out on their pay. Roxas and Lea both watched, horrified as Edym began to choke on his own attempt at a villainous persona. 

“That…” Lea began, silent for a moment longer as Edym recovered, glancing over to Roxas to see the short blond to see his best friend desperately trying to hold in his laughter. However, upon meeting he gave up, leaning on the table for support as he laughed uncontrollably. Lea began to snicker until he met Edym’s put out glare, the expression prompting him to roar with laughter and nearly fall off his chair.

“I hate you guys so freaking much.” Edym sulked.

“Okay, oh my gods, I need air, hold up,” Lea managed to pant out between laughs, suddenly composing himself with a deadly serious stare, he looked Edym dead in the eye, “learn well young grasshopper, _this_ is how you do an evil laugh.”

Lea bellowed something loud and atrocious at the top of his lungs that had Roxas losing his shit whilst also losing his ability to hear. The short blond was left winded and shaking, curled up in his chair as Edym giggled to himself, desperately trying to look like he was still miffed.

“Th-That was-” Roxas tried to speak but his words came out a raspy whisper.

“Magnificent? Bone-chilling? Did it leave you shaken to your core?” Lea asked, shit-eating grin spreading over his features and Edym snorted.

“You sounded like one of those stereotypical villains from a Bond film.” He chirped.

“Like the gold finger dude!” Roxas exclaimed.

“Exactly!”

 _“Do you expect me to talk?”_ Edym asked in his best Sean Connery voice.

 _“No Mr Bond!”_ Lea began, nearly on the verge of another breakdown full of laughter.

 _“I expect you to die!”_ All three boys crowed before collapsing into fits of giggles and snorts, the packet of UNO completely forgotten as they desperately tried to remember how to breathe.

Roxas glanced at the two laughing messes that were shaking in their chairs, vibrant and amused. He smiles to himself.

He’s pretty sure this is what normal felt like.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Vanitas slouches back into his chair, eyes flicking away from his computer screen before being sucked back to it and the words flickering in its pixels.

_Body swap_

_Mental link_

_Connection_

And all of it was fucking fictional. From stories posted online to movies and TV shows, nothing was real. But this was. Whatever the fuck was happening to him and the other four obviously had never happened before…unless the government covered it up and the general public doesn’t know about and what if they are going to be tracked down by the government and-

Woah.

Okay.

Chill out Mr Conspiracy.

Vanitas flopped forward, ruffling his hair with agitation as he tried to make sense of everything that was happening.

It was obvious that there was some kind of body swap thing going, but he’d only swapped with Ventus. So who were the other three and why were they there? Was he going to end up swapping with them later down the track? Was this some kind of find yourself bullshit that life was throwing at him? Well suck on shit life, he’d already found himself in a packet of cigarettes ( **and a lake with no bottom** ). The mental connection was the bit that was throwing him off. Did they all share one? Why? What was the extent of it? Could they see his memories? Could they see-

( **bubbles rising up in the air around him except that isn’t air that’s water and he’s scared and he can’t tell if he’s crying because there’s so much water and it’s drowning him out and it’s drowning them both out and tries to move and run but you can’t run underwater all you can do is float and he can’t even do that he’s strapped in tight for the ride and there’s no exit in sight-** ) 

He hisses, jolting up off his chair sharply, too sharp for the bruises and welts on his chest. The pain flares up and he grunts, gripping the edge of his desk for support as he recovers. He gets his breathing under control. He turns around. The jar of cream Ventus had gotten him was still on the floor. He shuffled over to it, crouching down and picking it up.

Well…

It was better than nothing.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated again...for some reason this fic seems to be coming to me more easily than Insomnia Falls atm which is pissing me off but I'm happy to be writing <3
> 
> Let me know what you thought, and!!! If you saw any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors please let me know!!


	5. And In The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: SEIZURES, OR SOMETHING AKIN TO THEM, OCCURS WITHIN THIS CHAPTER SO IF THIS DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH YOU PLEASE TURN BACK**

**And in the darkness**

**I can hear five hearts beating**

**I know I’m not alone**

**It hurts**

**I’m scared**

**I’m worried**

**But I’m not alone**

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

It's been a while since Xion has seen any of the boys. None of them have appeared before them in so long, no flicker in the corner of their eye, no reflection stolen and replaced with an almost strangers face. Nothing.

They're a little worried.

They had told themself it was real, they had told the brunet that too, but now, as they suddenly found themself in some kind of dry spell, they wondered if what they said was true. Maybe this was all inside their head. Maybe they had conjured up these strange figures and faces just so they wouldn't feel so alone after the move. They're not sure anymore.

They sway a little as the bus rounds another corner sharply, accidentally bumping into the man next to them. They throw him a shy, apologetic smile and turn their attentions back to the floor.

Almost home.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ventus stands up and stretches, eyes gleaming triumphantly as he watches his assignment get sent off to the professor. Done. Now he could relax a little.

He glanced to the mirror next to him and frowned. All he saw was himself. What happened to the others? Were there even 'others' to begin with? No, there had to be. Vanitas was definitely real, which must mean that the others were real too.

He sighed to himself, his arms falling back down from above his head to his sides, body slumping forward.

He wonders what their names were.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"You coming Roxy?" Lea called out from the kitchen.

"Yeah!" Came the short response as the blond packed his bag. They were headed for the library today, hoping to get some study in while Edym went off to visit Ienzo on his day off.

The blond shoved his books into his bag absently until the sound of the breeze and a wave breathing a soft hush met his ears. His mind immediately flew to blue eyes and brown hair. He whipped around, thinking he would see Sora and finally feel like he had a hold of something that would help him feel stable but...

The curtain rushed outwards again with a soft rustling like that of the ocean as another breeze lapped at the open window. Roxas shook his head solemnly.

Just his imagination.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Sora blinked up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin slowly in the humidity. Rain and then a sudden wave of heat while the rest of the country was freezing to death...he wondered if maybe this was true Hell.

He flopped onto his side with a yawn and blearily met Goofy's gaze.

"I know boy," Sora mumbled, "I'll take you for a walk soon."

Goofy huffed out a puff of air into Sora's face, the unpleasant breath washing over him. He tried to hold his breath so he wouldn't have to breathe it in but Goofy's eyes distracted him. He could see himself in them, exhausted figure and tired eyes looking back at him from the gleam of Goofy's expectant gaze.

Maybe if he focused hard enough, he would see them again.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Vanitas pulled the empty carton of milk out of the fridge and groaned. Lovely. This meant he had to go shopping soon...or he could not buy anything in an attempt to starve his 'father' and himself to death. A war of nutrition. He considered for a moment. It could work.

He shrugged and dropped the empty carton next to the bin for recycling. No milk meant no cereal. No cereal meant he was most likely going to have to cook...and end up with burnt toast. Vanitas sighed and closed the fridge, lazily reaching up to yank the door to the freezer open. May as well not delay the inevitable.

A soft sound behind him had him freezing in ( **fear** ) shock. Was that another random stranger appearing in his house to make him question his sanity for the umpteenth time? He carefully looked over his shoulder to the room behind him.

There was no one there.

He reached out to the frozen loaf of bread-

They reached out to grab the pole, steadying themself

as the bus rounded another corner sharply-

He sighed and let his hand flop

out off the couch to pet Goofy's head-

He groaned as he shuffled his bag around, he had enough space left for one more book.

His hand stretched out across his desk-

He looked over his laptop screen and smiled when he saw the notification from Skuld, he let his hand

hover

and

float forwards

to grab the back of his desk chair so he could sit down again and reply-

Five hands reached out and touched each other. Five pairs of eyes shooting upwards with varied expressions of confusion and fear. Five minds ran racing through recognition as each looked upon one another. The air vanished from around them making their ears pop.

For a second there was nothing but this floating emptiness and confusion. Then there was pain. And then it went black.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Roxas blearily blinked his eyes open, watching as the inside of a van slowly floated into existence like ink off a paintbrush in water. There's someone next to him and it takes a moment for the colour red to register.

"Roxas! Oh my God Roxas, can you hear me?!" Lea asked, desperation and panic tense in his shoulders, eyes watering with overwhelming fear,

The blond tried to say something but his mouth doesn't want to move. He feels really tired and he can feel his fist punching his leg but his arm isn't moving and the back of a desk chair is somewhere next to him but he can't grab it because a crowd of concerned onlookers are crowding around him as he lies on the couch with a dog licking his hand worriedly.

He wants to say something but all that rings out in his head is a string of curse words, each one shaking and shuddering as the ceiling fan continues to spin.

He must be in an ambulance.

A paramedic appears next to Lea and does something, he doesn't know, he can't see them past the refrigerator door.

"Sir, you've had a rather serious seizure, we're taking you to the hospital where we can monitor your condition better, okay?" The voice is clear cut and well-spoken and he can tell that the voice is next to him but the distant sound of the waves lapping up against the shore is closer, it's right in his skull.

He wants to try sitting up and off the couch so he does.

He manages to move and it makes him feel a bit better to know he can still move but suddenly he's shaking and crying and he can't stop himself from throwing up. Goofy leaps back and

breathes out a quiet bark, his gaze darting around rapidly but Sora can't afford to reassure him when he feels like he may hurl up on the shoes of all the nice bystanders that grip his shoulder and

ground him but it doesn't feel like his shoulder and the thought alone is enough to make him hurl again.

His hand is slipping down the refrigerator door with a loud squeak of his skin and his chest hurts and it's very difficult to breathe

( **you're dying** )

and he kind of wants his mum which doesn't make sense

( **it does** )

but he can't reach out to her so he settles for collapsing in the kitchen floor and punching his leg again as a paramedic and some upset redhead try to get his attention but he's slipping and falling as they try to stand up again.

They want to move and get off the bus because this is embarrassing beyond all belief but the people are telling them to

stay still. Stay still

they're calling an ambulance but the ambulance is already here isn't it? The paramedic is telling them to

breathe

but all they want is for the dog to stop barking because it started and now it won't stop.

Xion tries to lift themself up again but again the man next to them tells them to lay on their

side.

An old lady is watching from her seat in fear as a child is asking if the girl on the floor is okay which

doesn't

make

sense

because he's pretty sure he's a boy.

He's a boy and he's lying impossibly still on the floor that feels like both linoleum and carpet and he isn't sure how his brain is doing that but he

doesn't like it.

There's a door opening somewhere downstairs and he wants to

call out

but when he tries to move his mouth it won't cooperate and of course it won't, he tried talking to the redhead before and that wouldn't work then so why would this?

He's scared.

He's scared because he thinks that maybe he's dying and he can't stop it and as much as he misses Eraqus he doesn't want to join him just yet. Footsteps are

staircase

the

climbing

and the voices are familiar and foreign at the same time as the refrigerator light

flick

ers.

The bus has pulled over to the

side

of the road and the dog has finally stopped barking but he can't see where it went so maybe it's gone outside. Two pairs of hands are touching him

frantically

and there's a yell for the ambulance but the paramedic is already taking them to the hospital so

it's fine, don't worry, Goofy already stopped barking so there's no point in crying for ( **your mum** ) the pain to stop

but the surface he's lying on feels so nice and he's a

little apologetic as he slips under into the black behind his eyelids instead of staying awake so Lea wouldn't panic.

But

only a

little.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Xion wakes up in a hospital bed and frowns at the discomfort in their head and chest. Nothing major, it mainly feels like they just got punched and now they have a migraine because of it. They let their eyes trail around the room slowly, picking up on the empty chair next to their bed. They remember a bus and pain, feeling shaky and...did they throw up or was that someone else?

.....

Someone else?

The room pulsed with colour and the beeping machine next to them spiked suddenly as a redhead quickly faded in, sitting anxiously by their bed, before fading out of existence. A woman appears in the door to their room with a clipboard.

"You're awake, that's good." Was her only comment as she hung the clipboard on the end of Xion's bed.

"What...happened?" They mumbled.

"You had a seizure. It appears that nothing was damaged but we want to keep you in the hospital for a bit longer just to make sure."

"Mm'k." Xion slurred, watching as the nurse fiddled with dials and their sheets.

"How are you feeling? Would you like something to drink?"

"Head...hurts..."

"A headache?" Xion shook their head, "A migraine?" A slow nod.

"Okay, I'll go have a talk with the doctor."

"Thank you." Xion breathed, watching as the nurse finished her fiddling and went to leave the room.

"Wait..."

"Hmm?" She turned back around.

"My mum...is she...does she know?"

"Not yet. Do you have her number? I can give her a call."

"My phone...it's on there..."

"Do you have a password for your phone?"

"The number...fourteen...roman...numerals."

"Okay, I'll be back soon with something for that migraine." She promised before switching off the light and leaving Xion in peaceful darkness.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Vanitas slowly came back to himself on the kitchen floor. He groaned, coughing a little as he tried to breathe, the motion causing his stomach to lurch. He knew he should probably try to run for the bathroom but the contents of his stomach was already at the back of his throat. One horrible burning, acidic hurl later and he was leaning against the open fridge, relishing the cold that crept down his spine.

"What the fuck..." He trailed off, eyes ignoring the loaf of bread that had fallen to the floor, ice melting in a puddle not far from his vomit.

He's pretty sure he's not hungry anymore.

He has vague memories of scenes and situations flashing and blurring together in his mind but trying to recall it makes his brain thrash angrily up against his skull. Vanitas hisses at the pain that courses through him. His chest is aching and all he wants to do is sleep. He thinks for a brief second his eyes are already closed and that there's something beeping next to him but he's staring across the kitchen floor, eyes trained on a cupboard door handle instead. Something beeping. Machines. Heartbeats. Hospitals.

Hospital?

Should he call for an ambulance?

The thought is dismissed wearily.

No point now.

( **What would it matter if he did die from whatever this was? It's not like he had anyone who would miss him.** )

He curls up, knees pulled to his chest and head bowed in defeat.

( **He cries.** )

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Sora finds himself balancing on the edge of his couch, his eyes blinking open to the recognition of his phone beeping. There's a pile of sick on the floor and he groans in disgust as the smell of it infiltrates his nose. Gross. His stomach lurches as he manages to push himself up onto his elbows, his vision spinning and disorientating his head as he shuffles back onto the couch, away from the sick.

His phone has stopped beeping...unlike the machine that sat somewhere behind him, out of his vision.

He figures he should probably check whatever message was sent through to his phone...but...the fear of whatever just happened to him clings to the inside of his body. He could feel it wriggling under his skin as he tried to understand but nothing came to him. No answer. No sign. He thinks he saw Roxas.

Had something had happened to Roxas?

There's something warm trickling over his lips and when he licks at it he can taste the vile acidity of vomit mingling with the metallic tang of blood. He pokes at his nostril and feels something twist inside him when he sees blood on his fingertip.

He's scared and he doesn't know what this means.

_Does it mean he's dying?_

No, no, he probably just...caught a disease?

Sora shook his head, trying to shake the thoughts out, and immediately regretted it as dizziness resurfaced with a vengeance. He glanced at his phone, fear swelling back up.

He thinks maybe he should call his mum. Or his dad. Or both.

He really wants a hug.

Sora snatches his phone up and unlocks it, freezing as the notification fills him with loneliness.

_Sora you lazy bum, are you sleeping in again while I'm working my butt off at uni? Unfair!! D:_

Kairi.

He suddenly, really wants to hear her voice. He really wants to see her. And Riku. He misses them and this scares him, whatever has happened to him, he needs to hear their voices.

He's dialling Kairi's number before be can even think of doing anything else. It rings out as Goofy lumbers back into the room, whimpering in concern. Sora pats him a bit too roughly but it feels nice to have something solid under his hand. It's reassuring.

"Sora! There you are, I was starting to think you really were asleep." Kairi's voice flooded his ear and it overwhelmed him, something snapping mournfully in his soul and he starts crying. Tears, blood and specks of vomit on his mouth running down his face as he curls up on the couch, cradling his phone. Goofy's big eyes are watching him but he doesn't stop Sora from weeping.

"Sora? Sora what's wrong? Did something happen?" She's worried now and he feels guilty but it also feels goods to have someone else worrying about him instead of himself for a change.

"Is he okay?" Riku's voice is distant but it's there and it makes Sora cry harder.

"I don't know, he's not saying anything, just crying."

"Sora, tell us what happened." Riku's voice is closer and commanding but ultimately calming and Sora tries to breathe through the blood in his nose.

"I...I don't know," the brunet sobbed, "I was just lying down on the couch and then-"

_**And then there were four other people and there was shock and fear and curiosity and pain and then nothing but a sea of inky black nothingness.** _

"-I think I passed out, but I also vomited and my nose is bleeding and everything is shaking and my head kinda hurts and it's dizzy and-"

"Sora, breathe." Riku ordered, halting Sora's rampant rambling and the brunet burst into a fresh wave of tears.

"Sora, calm down, you're okay-" Kairi tried.

 _"Am I?"_ He whispered broke into the phone, his knuckles turning white from his tightening grip.

"Yes, you are." Riku confirmed with a solid voice.

"I don't know everything is just so weird and I can't stop shaking and-"

"Shh, Sora, you're okay now. You're going to be okay." Kairi spoke softly.

The brunet broke down again, his crying filling the phone as Kairi and Riku whispered reassurances into his ear. He's okay. He's okay. He's going to be okay.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Roxas wakes up to a dark room. He's in a bed and there's a faint light fading through closed blinds. There's also a slight red and green light coming from the beeping machine next to him. He realises he's in a hospital.

His throat and nose feel raw as he tries to breathe through them, but at least he's still breathing. He blinks a couple more times until his vision clears up. He notices the figures in the room.

Lea is slumped over his bed to his right, sleeping on his crossed arms with a worried frown set on his face while Edym sits next to Ienzo on his left. His head lying on his boyfriend's shoulder as he snores softly. Roxas smiles a bit, grateful for the fact that he can move his mouth again.

The door to his room slid open and he jolted a little, much to the dismay of his brain that screamed angrily in his skull.

_Ow._

"Oh, you're awake." Larxene commented in a hushed voice as she stepped into the room, closely followed by Lauriam.

"I guess." Roxas managed to croak out in response. Larxene handed him a styrofoam cup filled with water and he took a sip.

"You had us worried there y'know."

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Don't be, just make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Yes, feeling worried was unpleasant." Lauriam commented in his soft voice and Roxas just about died. His voice was like honey to his agonising head, soothing it with a hush.

"Doctor says it was a seizure." Larxene hummed as she sat down on the end of the bed, swirling her cup of water with a lazy twirl of his wrist, bangles clicking rhythmically.

"Guess it must've been then." The short blond slurred as Lauriam shuffled past Lea to his side, soft hand running smooth circles through Roxas' hair. The blond hummed quietly to himself as his eyes slipped shut, his cup gently removed from his weak grasp.

"You need some more rest?"

"Probably...but I wanna say hi first." He mumbled around his tongue.

"Okay, let's wake up the peanut gallery then." Larxene smirked, reaching over and yanking on Lea's ponytail as Lauriam continued to massage Roxas' scalp. The redhead woke with a yelp, turning to glare at Larxene.

"You bitch." He hissed.

"Love you too Lea." She smiled coldly before pointing over at Roxas. The redhead jumped out of his seat, eyes wide with concern as Roxas managed to flutter his own blue eyes open.

"Roxy! You okay? Do you need the nurse or the doctor or-"

"'M fine Lea," the short blond sighed, "well...as fine I can be after having a seizure...I guess."

"You sure?" Lea asked, the frown still present on his face until Roxas reached over and flicked it off.

"Mmhmm."

Lea looked him over carefully before breathing out a sigh of relief, taking hold of Roxas' hand and sitting down again. Larxene stifled a soft smile and turned around to Ienzo and Edym, downing the rest of her water, she piffed the empty cup at them. Edym jolted awake while Ienzo slowly came to.

"The fuck Larx?" Edym grumbled before he saw Roxas sitting upright.

"Roxas!" He cried, flopping over the bed onto the blond's lap with tears in his eyes.

"Welcome back." Ienzo muttered curtly and Roxas nodded at him as his boyfriend bawled in his lap.

"Come on Eddie," Larx snapped as she positioned herself comfortably on the bed, "pull yourself together."

"But he nearly _DIED!_ " The wimpy undercut sobbed.

"No I didn't, I just had seizure." Roxas mumbled, using his free hand to pat the top of Edym's head.

"News flash Roxy," Lea chirped, eyes glassy with fresh tears, "that's still not a good thing."

The short blond let his head flop down so he could look at his hand, entwined with Lea's own. The redhead's hand was shaking a little so Roxas squeezed it, hoping the action would reassure Lea, convince him that it was okay.

"Apparently."

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ventus woke up in a dim hospital room with a pounding throb echoing in his head and a hole somewhere in his chest that wasn't exactly empty but didn't feel completely whole either. It takes him a moment to realise Aqua and Terra sitting by his side, matching worried and broken frowns on their faces. He figures he should say something.

"Sorry."

The pair of them start at the sound of Ven's feeble voice, their hands desperately reaching out to hold his.

"What? Ven no, this isn't your fault." Terra told him.

"I worried you." The blond mumbled and Aqua shook her head.

"That still doesn't make it your fault."

"But I-"

"No. Ven this isn't your fault so stop apologising." Terra cut him off, firm and maybe slightly angry. Ventus can't really tell with the fuzziness clouding his head as another aching throb consumes him for a moment.

"I didn't...I don't want to worry you though."

Aqua laughed lightly to herself, a touch of sadness flooding into it and he feels a little guilty.

"You're going to worry us no matter what, that's what happens when you have a family Ven."

"Exactly." Terra nodded in agreement, the pair of them looking at him expectantly. He knows this part, he knows his line, he's said it many times before and he'll say it many times again.

"Thank you." He mumbles sleepily.

Aqua and Terra smile at him softly, their hands holding his a little more tightly as his eyes start to slip shut. He doesn't really want to sleep right now, he wants to talk with them, wants to laugh until the pain fades away but the pillow under his head is too soft to argue with.

"Get some rest Ven, we'll be here when you wake up." Terra promised.

"I know." He breathed out in response, appreciating their constant company and looking forward to waking up and seeing them again. Something flickered at the back of his mind for a second and in his last moment of consciousness he wondered...

When he woke up would he see the others too?

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any mistakes, please let me know!!


	6. The Lives We've Lived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry it took a while to update, exams are chaotic and fresh hell and I'm barely keeping myself from freaking at this point! I only have my French exam left though which is good and then hopefully I can update more often! I love you all and I hope you're able to continue reading <3

**We’re going back to the places we know**

**The lives we’ve lived**

**The faces we’ve loved**

**But the warmth of your hand lingers**

**I’m chasing it like butterflies in the breeze**

**I wonder**

**Are you chasing me too?**

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Ventus sighed as he buttoned up his shirt, looking himself over in the hospital mirror. He'd been cleared. Apparently, there was no damage and Ven was almost tempted to ask them to scan his brain again, see if four human figures would appear as white splotches in the X-rays this time. A tiny tap at the door startles his fingers into a faster pace.

"You okay in there?" Aqua's voice asked from the other side of the door and Ven can almost see her, worriedly biting on her blue nails in her pinafore dress.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He responded quickly running his hands through his hair in an attempt to look a little healthier than he felt. He turned the knob and opened the door, gaze falling on Aqua as she stopped pacing and looked up at him brightly, her fingernails only slightly chewed.

"Looking good!" She chirped, "Do you feel hungry?"

"A little bit," he admitted sheepishly, "hospital food wasn't exactly filling."

"Okay, let's stop for some ice-cream on the way home." She smiled, pulling out her car keys and rattling them in her hand.

Ven smiled softly, following his sister out if his room, a nurse close behind.

"If there are any more issues please let us know." The nurse smiled encouragingly as the pair left, glass doors parting and closing with a swift clunk and suddenly he was outside, sun embracing him instead of shyly peeking through his blinds. He takes a breath in and sighs in relief.

"Enjoying freedom?" Aqua giggled and he laughed.

"Yeah, no offence to the hospital but it was way too stuffy in there."

"Well, at least you're out now." She grinned walking him across the busy parking lot and swinging open the passenger side door for him, "For you young master."

"Thanks." Ventus chuckled, sliding in with a wince as his stiff body creaked at the movement. Maybe a trip to the park was in order. Stretch his limbs. Burn his itching energy.

Aqua clambered into the driver's seat and turned on the ignition. The small star pendant of stained glass dangling from her rear-view mirror.

"Anything coming that way?" She asked, craning her neck awkwardly to check the opposite direction.

"Nah, they're waiting for you to reverse."

"Alright, reverse we shall."

Backing out of their park slowly, Aqua navigated her way out of the bustling car park, narrowly avoiding a very tired looking doctor as they stumbled into work. One quick turn later and they were on their way.

"Where do you want to go for ice-cream?"

"Hm," Ven hummed, "how 'bout the trailer at the park?"

"You mean the one with the duck head on the roof?"

"Yeah." Ven nodded, ignoring the several repressed memories of crying and screaming and running away from said duck face...creepy.

"Okay, let's take a visit to the park."

The radio hosts stopped prattling and a song washed them away, comfortably filling the car with its soft tunes. A quiet voice whispered through the speakers as Ventus turned to look out the window, slim and squatting houses slipping past, trees being trimmed by council workers to make way for the power lines.

"Do you think you'll take the next couple days off of uni?" Aqua asked.

"Probably should but I've got a fair bit of work coming up so…I guess I should go."

"Yeah, but you _should_ look after yourself."

"I think getting the work done now so I don't stress later is taking care of myself." Ven mumbled, fiddling with the switch to wind down the window.

"True, but you shouldn't be afraid to take some time off."

"I'm not afraid."

"Oooh, a big tough guy are we? Not scared of your professors?" Aqua teased as she almost cut the corner into the park.

"Yeah, Professor Ava better watch out." Ven laughed, reaching to unbuckle his seat belt while Aqua pulled the car to a stop, perfectly positioned between the white lines. The short blond hopped out of the car, squinting as the sun hit him square in the face.

"What flavour do you want?" His older sister asked, sliding on a pair of shades and fishing around in her wallet.

"Cookies and cream."

"One cookies and cream and one mint chocolate coming right up." She chimed, turning on her heel and walking out of the carpark to the small trailer, preparing herself to do battle with the crowds of squealing kids and exhausted parents.

Ven meandered aimlessly, walking from one patch of grass to another, sidestepping a dandelion and a patch of daisies. He kicked at a tuft of grass in the shade of an oak before glancing around him; there was a bench not too far from him. It was behind some kind of tree that had formed a dome of leaves and branches, hiding the trunk from sight. He walked over, blue eyes spotting an opening that beckoned him to duck in, childish glee igniting within him as he stumbled around the empty space, sunlight peeking through the gaps in the foliage and scattering over his skin.

It felt nice, being outside, encased in nature. Much better than a sterile hospital room with a creepy IV dripping into his arm. He shuddered at the recall. He hated tubes and needles. He wants to pull the earth around him and fall asleep in the soft soil like he used to when he was younger. Hide from the pain of growing up, the pain of trying to figure what was happening to him.

Aqua finds him standing under the leaves, gazing up through a gap to the faded sky above them.

"Ven? I got your ice-cream."

"Thanks Aqua." He cast her a mildly troubled smile but she let him be, guiding him to a bench and talking with him about nonsensical things, like the neighbour's cat and the recent work she’d gotten from her professors. It seemed to perk him up a bit.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Sora flung an arm across his eyes, groaning loudly as the front door rattled under the insistent knocking. Talk about bad timing, why couldn't they have waited for his mum to come back in from hanging out the laundry so he wouldn't have to deal with this?

Another bout of impatient knocks told him that whoever it was didn't care.

" _Fiiiinnnnnee,_ " he groaned, "I'm coming, I'm coming hold your horses."

He lifted himself off the couch, shuffling over to the door and busying himself with the jammed handle. Finally he yanked it open with a weary grunt.

"Jeez, how long is it gonna take to fix that?" He muttered bitterly to himself before turning his attentions to his visitors. Arms stuffed with luggage and bags under their eyes, the tiny, old-fashioned red buggy parked in the driveway and university apparently completely forgotten.

"What are y-" He began.

" _SORRAAA!!_ " Kairi cried, dropping her bags with a heavy thump on the patio’s weathered planks before throwing her arms around the brunet's neck. Riku shook his head with a tired laugh as Sora stumbled under the sudden weight.

"Chill Kairi, we came here to see him, not kill him." He chided, placing his bags down and bumping his fist with Sora's free one. Their redhead friend whined against Sora, tightening her grip painfully.

"You came to see me?" Sora asked.

"Of course we did!" Kairi exclaimed angrily pushing away from him and meeting his fearful blue eyes with a glare "You had a seizure Sora!"

"Yeah but-"

"No, no 'but's!" She put one hand on her hip and wagged a finger disapprovingly in his face with the other, "We're here to visit and take care of you, no arguments."

"But what about uni? You guys still have classes!"

"Sora, I think checking up on our friend is a bit more important than a few classes." Riku scoffed, stepping past the brunet and Kairi, making his way into the lounge room and dumping his bags on the floor.

"Oh, well, sure then. Just make yourselves at home." Sora sighed dejectedly, letting Kairi glide past him with a quick peck on his cheek.

"That we will!" She sung and Sora groaned playfully, smile quirking up as Riku threw him an equally playful, unimpressed glare. The brunet shoved the door shut and turned to his friends, the soft sounds of the waves inspiring a quiet hush within his heart and head, letting him forget for a moment about the other four people and the mystery surrounding their connection.

"You guys up for a swim?"

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"I am not stepping a single foot inside that house." Roxas stated, eyes sizing up his share house with horror. Streamers, balloons and some cheap 'It's a boy!' welcome home sign that he knew was from the second-hand store around the corner, adorned the exterior in sickeningly vivid hues that made him feel like puking. And if he knew Lea and Edym as well as he thought he did, then he knew that the inside was going to be ten times worse.

"You gotta." Larxene replied in a bored tone, chewing her toothpick over with blood red lips and glittered eye shadow. Rings clicking against the steering wheel as Lauriam finished tying his pink hair up.

"I can't, I don't think I have it in me, Larx _please_ , take me back to the hospital." Roxas begged, eyes still locked on his house in fear.

"No can do Blondie." Larx quipped, pulling her keys out of the ignition and stepping outside of the car. Roxas sighed in dismay, slumping back in his seat and staring listlessly at the ceiling.

"Roxas," Lauriam started, checking himself quickly in the rear-view mirror, "just think of it as band-aid."

"Come again?"

"Instead of peeling it away slowly, just rip the bitch off." The man stepped out of the car and Roxas groaned, slowly following suit and stepping onto the sidewalk. He stood in between Larx and Lauriam, the three of them admiring the glitter-bombed front of the share house with matching looks of disgusted disbelief.

"Well...at least they put in some effort." Lauriam commented with a shrug before striding up to the door, gripping the handle and beckoning Roxas over. The blond wandered over to his side reluctantly, bracing himself as the door was pushed open.

Sudden tinny, high-pitched trumpeting sounds met his ears as streamers and confetti fell down onto his head. Lea was standing in the kitchen, finishing up with coating some monster of a cake with frosting, he threw Roxas a beaming, wolfish smile. The blond met it with an unhappy glare that had the red-head cackling as Edym cheered from the lounge room, the dirty blond wrapped in streamers like they were bandages. He waved enthusiastically while Ienzo spared Roxas a glance from where he was adjusting the streamers around his boyfriend's neck.

"WELCOME BACK ROXY!!" Edym bellowed and Roxas laughed wearily, choosing to ignore how Ienzo finished up and lightly kissed his boyfriend on the tip of his nose.

"What are you doing? Why is the lounge room littered with balloons?" He asked.

"To distract Larxene." Ienzo answered him as the blonde made her way inside, head snapping at him lightning fast.

"Distract me from wha-Oh! Balloons! _Sick!_ " She exclaimed ecstatically, whipping out her pocket knife and running over to stab one with a thunderous 'pop'.

"Yikes! What the _fuck_ Larx?!" Edym squealed as he leapt behind Ienzo for safety. Roxas turned away from them and shuffled his way into the kitchen, leaning against the bench next to Lea as the red-head admired his handiwork with pride.

"What were they distracting Larx from?" The short blond whispered, eyes glazing over the frosting hungrily.

"Your presents." Lea smiled, chuckling as Roxas turned to him, face lit up in surprise. He reached under the bench and pulled out two bundles wrapped in newspaper. He handed them to the blond who glanced back to the lounge room, Larxene was still popping balloons wildly, no risk of her opening his presents for him. He tore into the biggest present, resting the other on the bench next to the cake as Lauriam joined Lea in anticipation, waiting for the short blond's response.

"You did not buy me a skateboard." Roxas whispered in awe as he pulled the gift out of the wrapping.

"Of course we did, we'd planned to for a while." Lea shrugged as the blond inspected the skateboard, turning it over in his hands.

"You'll have to thank Luxord for that one," Lauriam added, "he designed it himself."

Roxas nodded, eyes raking over the details appreciatively. The small symbol he'd drawn all through high school had been positioned in the centre on the top while on the bottom it had been transformed into an infinite pattern of grey and white with hints of purple.

"I'll text him later." He promised, setting it down and picking up the other gift. It was covered in tape... _duct tape_. He threw Lea a dirty glare.

"Edym wrapped it." Came the quick excuse.

"Sure." Roxas hummed threateningly, locating a small gap in the tape that he was able to tear through with his teeth. He struggled for a little bit, much to Lauriam's amusement, before managing to yank the present free.

It was a long silver chain with an x-like symbol for the charm. He frowned, inspecting it as he flipped it around in front of him.

"You uh...you like it?" Lea asked hesitantly.

"I do, just wondering what it is."

"Looks like some crossed over weapons." Lauriam commented idly.

"Figured it was just a fancy cross." Lea frowned.

"Well whatever it is, I like it. Thanks." Roxas threw the redhead a short smile, pulling the necklace over his head and letting the long chain fall over around his neck, charm bouncing harmlessly off his chest.

"No problem," Lea grinned, "oh, Edym and I also went and saw your professors. We told them about what happened and they gave you extensions for your work. We also got the work and notes you missed from lectures, hope that's okay."

At the stunned silence that followed him speaking, Lea turned his gaze away from where Larxene had been pouting, having stabbed all the balloons much to the horror of Edym and Ienzo, to Roxas' watery eyes. The blond was looking up at his friend with overwhelming gratefulness, eyes wide and sparkling as he teared up, confetti pieces scattered through his hair.

"Holy fuck, I could kiss you right now." He breathed.

Lea laughed nervously, a bright red flush that rivalled his hair colour inflaming his face.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Xion flopped their head to the side, biting back a groan as they listened to the nurse talk with their fretful mother.

_"But they'll be alright, yes?"_

_"There appears to be no damage that we need to worry about. Xion has recovered well from the seizure and they're ready to go home."_ The nurse assured their mother.

_"Should we schedule a check-up with the doctor? Just in case?"_

_"It wouldn't hurt."_

Xion sighed, eyes slowly trailing down the IV drip to their arm. They slowly furled and unfurled their fingers, mind numb and silent. They wanted to go home.

"Xion?" Thy turned a gave their mum a reassuring smile as she ducked into the room, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah," they breathed slowly, "Just wanna go home."

"Okay dear, we'll get you home." Their mum nodded encouragingly and Xion felt bad for being the reason why there were tears in their mothers eyes.

"Namine called the other day," she rambled as she helped Xion out of the bed and led them out of the hospital, "she sends her love and best wishes."

"I'll have to send her a message." Xion mumbled as they stumbled across the parking lot, latched onto their mother's arm.

"Okay, but rest first."

"Mmhmm." They hummed, letting their head flop back onto the headrest, closing their eyes as their mum started the engine and pulled away.

Everything was a sleepy haze, they felt like they were floating throughout the car instead of sitting strapped into the passenger seat. They looked into the darkness burnt into their eyelids and tried to see if they could somehow hear the others. Those other boys. A memory of colour and pain washed over them and they flinched.

They didn't know what was happening but...they knew. They knew that if they met again, that if they knew the boys names...they knew something would click into place.

They softly settled against their mother's idle chatter and wondered when they would see the boys again.

They hoped it was soon.

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"You had a seizure?"

"I think." Vanitas bit out with an aggravated shrug as his _'father's_ stare dropped into an accusatory glare.

"The hell did you do that for?" He scoffed. Vanitas' grip on his mouse strengthened and he rotated his chair slowly, hoping that his _'father'_ could sense the waves of fury rolling off of him.

"It's not like I had much of a fucking choice." He hissed.

"Don't do it again, I can't afford to waste money on a jumped up shit like you." _'Dad'_ warned with a fist clenched by his side.

"It's not like I called an ambo." Vanitas mumbled petulantly, turning back to his computer.

"If you have something to say, man up and say it to my fucking face."

The black haired boy stayed quiet, glaring furiously at his computer screen as his _'father'_ waited in the doorway, fists ready and itching for a fight. He reeked of alcohol.

"That's what I thought." The older man scoffed, turning on his heel and slamming the door behind him.

Vanitas choked a yell in his throat, getting up and gliding over to his bed where he picked up his pillow and threw it across the room, burning hatred searing his muscles with toxic energy. He needed to ( **scream, leave, let him leave this place already** ) vent but his _'dad'_ was home and if he even fucking tried he'd be mince-meat for sure.

He picked his pillow off the floor and flopped as hard as he could on his bed, the ache in his chest flaring up and it felt good, releasing some anger from his system with a sharp jolt of pain. He buried his face into his pillow and pressed it over his face.

( **...** )

( **He's not crying** )

( **He's not** )

Vanitas pulls the pillow away and takes the deepest breath of stale air he can manage what with his crappy lungs. At the thought he remembers his packet of cigs and fishes around for them, lighting one and letting it rest in between his lips. It felt good ( **burning away his life good deserves to die slowly and painfully** ). He closed his eyes and let the smoke cloud his head.

_Fucking seizure._

_Fucking four strangers messing with his head._

His gold eyes open with a flash of anger that fades a little. Maybe they were just as clueless as him. Ugh, whatever, life was just messing with him again and this time? It was dragging more people into the equation.

He flicks his cigarette around and then snuffs it out against the brick he stole from the local school when he was pulled out. He tried to breathe and then he tries to sleep.

Maybe when he wakes up his father would have done him a solid and killed him in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you see any mistakes or errors anywhere!! Thank you for reading!


	7. Hard To See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this took so long to update, my creativity feels like it's been drained dry from my last year of school. But hey, at least I'm out! I got the score I needed to get into my uni course too so I'll be starting that soon (mostly scared, slightly excited). I love you all and I hope this chapter is a good read for you <3

**We don’t know where we’re going**

**The haziness is making it hard to see**

**I wish I could see you**

**Right in front of me**

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

A hazy shout into the darkness behind their eyes. They look around and they know there are other people there, even if they and see them. They can feel their hands touching, brushing fingers ever so slightly.

A deep breath and another shout trying to break through the cling film pitch black air around them.

It doesn't break through.

A hand reaches out and grasps their left hand, it's shaking and they're scared.

Bubbles lift up from their mouth and they manage to breathe through the water.

They puff up their chest, oversized jumper following the movement, sand between their toes and flickering, dingy light over their head.

"I'm Xion!!"

The voice echoes, distant and moving around in circles like a pebble being dropped into some omnipresent pond. The responding voice is distorted, like it's being dragged across gravel.

"Xion?"

"Yes that's me!"

"What?"

A shaking image of gold eyes flickers in their mind and the overhead light starts swinging, its chain rattling like a drumming sound.

"I know you." Comes another voice, soft-spoken but harsh in tone.

"You do?"

"I'm Ventus."

"Oh shit it's you."

"Excuse me?”

"Where are you?" Xion asked, voice trembling as the hand around theirs tightened its grip, "Who's holding my hand?"

The hand quickly snatches itself away and Xion misses it a bit.

"What hand?" Comes the sharp response quickly chased by a pained beating in their chest.

He looks around, unsure of what's happening as the dim voices get louder and louder, they sound like they're arguing.

"So who are you?"

"Why should I tell y-"

"He's Vanitas, which loosely translates to 'a pain in the ass'."

"...well you're not wrong."

"Hey!" Roxas calls out. In his mind he can see the lower halves of faces, whipping around, turning to where he yelled from.

"Another one?"

The swinging of the light becomes louder, chain rattling angrily.

"Apparently." Roxas mumbled, turning to his left where he heard the voice come from and seeing a hunched over figure, arms crossed, black hair as much a mess as his tangled tank top. He tilts his head and squints to look at them better while the other voices continue on.

"And who are you?" Ventus asks the newcomer, stifling a yelp as he feels hair brush across his neck, as if someone is leaning back against him.

"Roxas."

"I'm Xion." Xion's voice chimes out like a bell.

"I'm Ventus and the other guy is-"

"Vanitas," Ventus sends a frown off into the darkness and somehow Roxas must have sensed it because he quickly adds "I heard you guys bickering."

"Oh then by all means make yourself at home!" Came Vanitas' s snarky reply. He can hear the other voices sigh before a hand lands on his shoulder.

He screams, snapping his gaze to the sudden figure behind him, gold eyes burning with fear.

"Woah! It's me! Roxas!" The blond is startled and he's holding his hands up. Vanitas inspects him and the space trailing behind him. Roxas looks the black haired boy over and frowns as he notices there's small beads of water trailing over his skin.

He glances down to Vanitas' feet and now he's concerned.

Water is climbing up Vanitas' legs like clawing hands, tendrils spiralling up his calves. Blue eyes meet gold.

"Why's there a lock on your chest?" A calloused finger crudely points to the centre of his chest but when Roxas looks down he sees nothing.

"Are you trying to mess with me?" He glares at the black haired boy.

"What? No, my pranks are far crueller." The wicked smile the follows that seems like a promise and Roxas knows that this must be Vanitas.

"Okay, then why are you covered in water? Did you just go for a swim?" He's able to see some indescribable fear grow in Vanitas' eyes, gold turning into a sickly yellow as the light overhead keeps swinging.

"What are you two talking about?" Xion asks when Vanitas stays silent, jaw locking and eyes on Roxas but not looking at him, not quite. The blond is about to ask something else when he hears Xion shriek. The sound soon followed by the undeniable sound of fist meeting flesh.

"Owwww!!! Again?!"

This voice is new to Vanitas and it snaps him out of (water, sloshing and rocking and consuming, killing and taking and he can't so anything, he can't reach her he's strapped in the backseat and he can't-) it. He looks to where Roxas is looking and frowns.

"Who the fuck is that?" He asks, his voice strong and normal.

"Was the profanity really necessary?" Roxas asked.

"Fuck yes." Came the sharp smirk and Sora looked up at the black-haired girl who still had her fists raised, frozen in shock.

"Oh no! I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you-"

"S'fine," he mumbled, tongue suddenly feeling swollen in his mouth, "don't worry about it."

"-if I'd known I swear I wouldn't have-"

"Um hey what's going on?" A soft voice tried to interrupt cautiously.

"-I didn't mean to punch you I'm so sorry!"

Loud laughter erupted from somewhere in the distance and Sora glared pointedly at it, hoping that the gravelly laughter would sense his glare and stop...they didn't.

"Just...please don't ever do it again." He pleaded as he positioned himself on the floor more comfortably.

"You alright Sora?"

He perks up, blond hair and blue eyes flashing through his mind.

"Roxas!"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you here?" He asked, standing up and trying to find Roxas in the darkness, ignoring the girl mumbling 'Oh, so your name is Sora'.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"How can you not know?" The breathless voice asked, composing itself after its bout of rowdy laughter.

"Well do you know?" The soft voice countered and a small 'humph' resounded before a brief silence fell over the darkness.

"Thought so."

"Shut your fuck up."

"Um wait, who are you? And where are you?" Sora asked, the girl slowly reappearing next to him with small, unsure steps.

"Well I'm Xion." She introduced herself quietly.

"I'm Ventus and the loudmouth is Vanitas."

"Wh-!! Hey! I was gonna introduce myself!"

"Too slow."

"Can you guys just shut up?"

"Make me Blondie."

"Maybe I will."

"Where are you?!" Sora cut over them.

"Somewhere." Vanitas answered, smirk stretching onto his face as Roxas shot him a glare that would murder him if it could.

"I would say we don't know, we kind of just...appeared here.." Ventus trailed off as he noticed something flickering in the clouds of ink around him...it looked like a hand.

"Ventus? Is something wrong?"

He tenderly wrapped his fingers around the floating hand, his action followed immediately by a shriek and a burst of colour.

"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!"

"Holy shit don't you know how to be quiet?!"

"Vanitas?"

He looked up, his hand still holding onto Vanitas', the light overhead shivered and began to sway slowly.

"Don't you people know how to make a less creepy introduction?!" Golden eyes snapped and Ventus frowned.

"How was I supposed to introduce myself to a floating hand? Wave at it?"

"A floating hand? What the fuck are you on?"

“Can we all just calm down for one second?” Sora’s voice interrupted them, leavin Vanitas to shake his hand out of Ventus’ grip angrily, cross his arms and pout.

“I’m perfectly calm.” He responded to the lost brunet with a dead tone in his voice that made Sora frown, unimpressed with his answer. 

Roxas glances around Vanitas at Ventus and furrows his brow a little as the scribble over Ventus’ face darts around sporadically. Okay? So now he was dealing with one guy that was sopping wet and the other who was…doing…something…his frown deepened and Ventus met his steely gaze with confused concern.

“Um, is everything okay uh..Roxas right?”

“Yeah and…I guess.” The blond shrugged and turned his gaze away starting when he noticed two flickering figures near the three of them. He elbowed wildly until he hit someone’s rib, ignoring their yelp of angry alarm he pointed to the mysterious duo just in distance.

“Sora? Xion?” Ventus called out carefully and the three of them watched as the figures moved sharply, their faces almost clearing up before fogging over again and flickering dangerously.

“Uh yeah?”

“Is something wrong?”

“Can you…turn around?”

“…sure?” Sora’s voice pitched and the figures ahead of Ventus, Vanitas and Roxas slowly shuffled around.

The light and its chain rattle loudly as it swings from side to side above them, illuminating all their faces. The water droplets glint off of Vanitas’ skin as the lock on Roxas’ chest quivers in anticipation. The scribble blocking out Ventus’ head looks into the empty, inky space where Xion’s face should be and Sora drags the ball and chain around his foot around as he rotates his body to see everyone more properly. There’s something ominous and unknown in the air and the five of them glance around with newfound confusion as the light starts to shine a little too brightly.

“What’s-”

Xion woke up on their bed, their hand curled limply next to their face as tears slipped over their cheeks, drenching their pillow miserably. They couldn’t help but feel that their hand was hopelessly empty.

“-happening?”

゜。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think?


End file.
